66 Year-Old With Terminal Cancer Tackles Kinda Hot April Fool’s Bank Robber

Posted: April 4 @ 3:30pm by 610 in Bolivian
Tags: , , , , , ,

UPIA 66-year-old woman who said she has nothing to lose because of terminal cancer tackled an alleged female bank robber in Florida, police said.  Renee Lee Green, 32, ended up in the Broward County Jail, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported. She was arrested at the Bank of America (NYSE:BAC) branch in Oakland Park.  Green allegedly told police the robbery attempt Friday was just an April Fool’s joke, WTVJ-TV in Miami reported. Witnesses said she claimed to have a gun, told customers and employees to get down on the floor and then demanded $10,000.  Helen Dunsford’s response was to tackle Green.  “She got on my last nerve,” Dunsford told the TV station. “I have cancer, stage 4, and I figured if I’m gonna die it’s God will when I die. She’s not gonna shoot me.”  Mike Jachles, a spokesman for the Broward County Sheriff’s Office, said Dunsford held Green until police got to the bank, the Sun Sentinel said. While Jachles described Dunsford as “selfless and brave,” he advised other members of the public to focus on what they are witnessing and leave catching robbers to the police.

So let me get this straight.  This ginger fox ‘claimed’ to have a gun & was ‘held’ by a 66 year-old dying woman…on April Fool’s Day…and they’re not buying it was an April Fool’s prank?  Give Renee some credit here.  Bad joke?  OK – but that’s par for the course, just like swerving in & out of traffic was for poor Charlene Johnson earlier today.  Chicks just aren’t funny, so why would we expect Ms. Green to have any sense of humor?  But do you really think she couldn’t escape the grasp of a stage 4 cancer patient if she wanted to?  Renee looks pretty…umm…’limber’ if you ask me.  I’d bet a box of Clairol this red-head’s handled a lot more than what Helen’s decrepit self is bringing.  And was she actually packing a piece?  I fucking wish she was.  This old bag’s got some raisins on her, going all Terry Tate because someone’s getting on her last nerve.  Lady if everyone you irritate with your slowness & elderly self-righteousness on a daily basis decided to clothesline you, your cancery, permed head would have long since been removed from your wrinkly neck.  You’re lucky the 8 people waiting behind you at the bank while you re-count all your coins to deposit for your grandson’s $12 birthday check didn’t take it upon themselves to impose “God’s will”.

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