Yeah, More Bears! This One Is Getting Hunted Down Because He Stole a Birthday Cake.

Posted: October 6 @ 2:00pm by scrody in Bolivian
Tags: , , , , ,

[UPI]  Florida wildlife authorities said they were on the hunt for a black bear accused of breaking into a home and stealing a birthday cake. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the bear broke into a Macclenny home at 2 a.m. Monday and made off with food items including the cake, The (Jacksonville) Florida Times-Union reported Wednesday. Commission spokeswoman Karen Parker said a biologist dispatched to the scene Tuesday found a well-used trail behind the home strewn with garbage and the remains of the cake. Parker said wildlife officials, who are familiar with the bear from a research project it was involved with, are baiting traps with cupcakes in an attempt to capture and euthanize the animal. “Relocating this bear is not an option,” Parker said. “Public safety is our No. 1 concern. When we catch it, we will euthanize it. We do not want the bear entering another house.”

They want to kill Yogi here because he ate a kids birthday cake? Damn, tough crowd. You don’t have to be a bear to steal a cake (not that it hurts though), so would they send out the lynch mob if a person stole some sweets too? For me, the answer to that really comes down to what kind of cake it was. A fact that was somehow left out of this story. If we’re talking about ice cream cake, this is a non-story. Just let the bear enjoy. Ice cream cake has to be the most overrated birthday cake in the history of birthday cake. No way a bear is risking getting shot for Fudgy the Whale. But if we’re talking like an Ace of Cakes type of cake where Duff turns some red velvet and white fondant into a motorcycle jumping through a flaming hoop, well, that bear needs to die. I’m kind of on the fence with Entenmann’s cake though. I mean, the quality is there. I love the chocolate/chocolate frosted. I even tried convincing my wife to let us use a stack of Entenmann’s as our wedding cake. But they’re so readily available. High demand, high supply. So I’d be unhappy and inconvenienced, but not looking to murder a bear. I’d just head around the block to 7-11 and grab another. Although, a homemade double layer cake is also a death sentence.

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