Well If You’re Gonna Die On The Anniversary Of Your Friend’s Death There Are Worse Places To Do It Than A Whorehouse In Phuket

Posted: December 28 @ 12:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[Perth Now]  A New Zealand man has died after a reported sex romp with two Thai prostitutes. The man, in Thailand to mark the anniversary of a friend’s death in the Boxing Day tsunami seven years ago, was found dead in a Phuket guesthouse, according to local police. A friend of the 30-year-old discovered his body yesterday morning, the Phuket Wan Tourism News reported local police as saying. The website, in a story headlined “Phuket tourist mourns tsunami friend, has sex with two Patong bar hostesses, and dies”, quotes a local police spokesman saying the dead man had taken two prostitutes back to his room at the Keeta Guesthouse at Patong Beach the night before. Lieutenant Jakapong said the dead man was overweight and may have had health issues. The police officer told the newspaper the dead man and another 29-year-old New Zealander had attended a candles in the sand “Light Up Phuket” ceremony at Patong Beach on the anniversary of 2004 tsunami before the pair went out on the town after the ceremony. “The man told his friend that both girls were beautiful so he decided to take both back to his room,” Lt Jakapong said. “We found two used condoms and a sex stimulant in the man’s room.” The prostitutes were not in the room when the body was found, Lt Jakapong said. New Zealand’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade said it had not been approached for consular assistance but was making inquiries.

I hope my buddy Mikey P. sees this post.  This is how shit goes down when I die.  I know it’d be tough for all my friends to cope with, but once they’re over the pain and sorrow of missing me, I want the anniversary celebrated.  I don’t mean a party or a trip to AC – I’m talking a first-class ticket to Phuket & a limo to the Keeta Guesthouse at Patong Beach.  Thai whores & sex stimulants all day.  The only pal I have complete faith in carrying out this wish is Mikey P.  In fairness, I haven’t seen him all that much lately, but I think we’ve been close enough for long enough that my passing would still rock him to his core.  As a matter of fact, I think he’d skip my wake to charter the next flight & pick up the first pair of slanty-eyed sluts who say “me so horny”.  That’s true friendship right there.  So, Mikey P., if you haven’t already died a fat death after plowing some General Tsao vagina in Phuket, all I ask is that you wait to do it in my honor.

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