Scarves may very well be the most unnecessary thing ever to be worn. Hey fuckfaces, we live in New York not Antarctica. The only reason you should ever don a scarf is if you’re already stuffed into 33 pairs of socks, 8 sets of long johns & 6 sweatshirts under 2 snow suits & you need to wrap your neck/face area from immediate frost bite. But no, not here. Every other douchebag puffing a Parliament in front of my office building has a stupid frilly scarf just hanging lazily over the back of their necks without even having a coat on. I genuinely want to string every last one of these pansies up to a tree with their fashionable noose & pepper their faggy faces with rocks and shards of AIDS glass. They don’t keep you warm – if warmth is your goal, put your fucking coat on. You know who thinks they serve a purpose? Chicks. Why? Because they’re retarded. You’re not on the red carpet either, dick face. You don’t have a stylist – you pull in $50k a year making cold calls or being the office bitch. I want to beat them unconscious & suffocate their motionless wastes of space by stomping their wool accessory through their teeth. I mean it. There’s nothing good or redeeming that can come from any asshole who has his work buddies wait for him on a smoke break because he forgot his god damn scarf so I don’t see anything wrong with decapitating them on sight. I don’t want to hear your reasoning, I just want you to die. When you hear on the news that 137 men were gunned down by an apparent rooftop sniper in Manhattan, seemingly all wearing scarves, don’t bother looking for me. I’ll be long gone.