I’d Be So Embarrassed If I Couldn’t Knock A Random Broad Out With A Sucker Punch

Posted: February 8 @ 12:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[Chicago Tribune]  A judge set bail at $25,000 today for a man who police said repeatedly punched a woman he did not know Monday afternoon on a River North street all because she “looked at him funny”. Bryant McClinton, 24, was charged with one count of battery in a public place and was booked into Cook County Jail Tuesday, authorities said. The 23-year-old North Side woman wasn’t badly hurt in the apparently random attack and had been treated and released as of Tuesday night from Northwestern Memorial Hospital for head and face injuries, police said. The woman had been walking south on Orleans Street as McClinton was walking north. As they were about to cross paths just after 1 p.m., McClinton punched the woman with his left hand, knocking the woman and her purse to the ground, according to police. While hovering over her, McClinton punched her several more times but then fled on foot after people began noticing what was going on. Officers responded to several 911 calls. Two witnesses –- one of whom was driving — began chasing McClinton. Police joined the chase and McClinton was arrested about 1:20 p.m. in the 600 block of West Chicago Avenue, police said. The woman, who said she was walking to lunch at the time of the attack, described the experience as “scary,” when reached by phone Tuesday night. Police also found that the entire beating had been captured on video surveillance.

Haha what a pussy.  If you can’t put a random chick walking down the street to sleep with an unexpected haymaker, who CAN you beat up?  I’d kill myself if I was this dude.  Luckily, I’m not.  Make no mistake about it – when I’m strolling down the street and some cunt looks at me funny, she’s asleep within 3 seconds of being within arm’s length 100 out of 100 times.  And 100 times is a fraction of how many times this has happened.  It’s kinda my move.  If I see a slut who piques my interest, I do the old “point at her, point at me then stick my right index finger in & out of the simulated vag hole I make with my left hand” routine.  I’m a no-bullshit kinda guy.  Like my man JadaKiss said, “Is we fuckin’, or what?”  As it goes with any other approach with the ladies, sometimes it works and sometimes she looks at me funny.  Then I rearrange her face.  Hey don’t judge me, bitches.  Take a look in the mirror and figure out why you’re so selfish, then decide if it’s worth a concussion for not sparing a minute or two in the alley behind the dumpster with me.

P.S. – For some reason while writing this post I envisioned a “Feed The Children”/”Save The Animals” commercial except it’s for getting dudes laid.  Instead of little black kids with flies on their eyeballs you can show some dude sitting in a corner crying while beating off in slo-mo.  “For just the price of a cup of coffee, you can provide one depraved soul with a daily slice of pussy” – over a sweet Sara McLachlan jam, of course.

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