Guy with split-personality says the “other” him robbed the Chinese restaurant

Posted: February 28 @ 12:00pm by Cracker in Bolivian
Tags: , , ,

[MacombDaily] LEECHBURG, Pa. (AP) — Police say a western Pennsylvania man who claims to have split personalities confessed to robbing a Chinese restaurant after reading about it in the newspaper and realizing he was the person who did it. Online court records don’t list an attorney for 23-year-old Timothy Beer, of Leechburg, who’s been jailed since surrendering in Sunday’s robbery of the China King Restaurant about 35 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. Beer came to the police station Tuesday, saying he wasn’t feeling well and “did something stupid.”  Beer told police he ordered food and became angry when he perceived the person waiting on him was continuing to speak Chinese. The next thing Beer remembers, he was playing video games at his cousin’s home — but says he later realized he committed the robbery when he read about it in Tuesday’s Valley News Dispatch.

I honestly am not sure whether this guy is a brilliant pioneer and a visionary for us all or if he’s just retarded. I mean c’mon man, Timothy Beer…that’s the name of your drunken alter ego? Real name is probably like Tim Sober, and when he’s three-sheets in the bag everyone calls him Timmy Beer! Who does this cat think he’s fooling!? Yeah, Cracker Whiskey has done some fucked up shit before too. Difference is, I didn’t get so pissed when Hop Sing wouldn’t speakey Engrish that I blacked out and robbed the joint.

But, what’s done is done and let’s suppose for a moment you got so drunk and angry it caused you to black out and rob a Chinese restaurant:  next thing you know, you’re playing video games at your cousins pad wondering where you got $786 in cash from, then you read this story and it’s like “oh shit nigga!” They got surveillance of you pushing around some slope and everything, it’s just a matter of time before you have to either skip-town or turn yourself in with this ridiculous split-personality tale. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see how this defense works out for him. A year from now he could be telling that fat lady in HR that he’s not a felon, that’s the other him.

PS. Those three sentences in the article has to be one of my all time favorites…”Beer came to the police station Tuesday saying he wasn’t feeling well and ‘did something stupid’…” hilarious.


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