[Sun] A teenage boy has been slapped with in an Asbo banning him from throwing anything. Kean Lamb, 17, terrorised villagers by hurling snowballs over the past six months. The two-year Asbo bans him from ‘throwing, or encouraging others to throw, any object at property or other people’ unless he is playing sport. A court heard 11 terrified locals reported the lout for chucking snowballs at them in the street and that he and a gang of teens had done it on ‘numerous other occasions’. A frightened victim said: “When it was snowing you just knew the moment you stepped outside you would be targeted if they were around and they also used to throw snowballs at our windows and doors all the time. “This kid has got what he deserved, but at least he can still take part in sport.” Mid Sussex Magistrates Court also banned Lamb from meeting fellow gang members and using threatening, insulting or abusive behaviour in his village Copthorne, West Sussex. Sgt Graeme Prentice said Lamb was the ‘ringleader’ of the gang of teens. He said: “Lamb has been a thorn in the flesh of the Copthorne community for a considerable time. Police have attempted to engage with him on numerous occasions without success and his antisocial activities reached a point where the Asbo application became unavoidable. I am pleased that it has been granted and I really hope that it may prove a turning point in this young man’s life.”
First of all, someone needs to confirm Tiger Woods’ whereabouts 17-18 years ago. If he was playing in some amateur British Open, there’s a 100% chance this kid is his & he needs to start shelling out some child support so Kean Lamb doesn’t have to keep cutting his own hair. Anyway, please excuse my horrible Allen Iverson when I ask “we talkin’ ’bout snowballs?” Really? Some 17 year-old punk basically held a town hostage for 6 months by throwing snowballs? This reminds me of that story of the 15 year-old Mexican assassin. Just like I could’ve saved Mexico, I could’ve been a hero to Copthorne. You’re telling me there’s not one person in this little village who could sack up & rock this kid upside his mis-shaved melon with an ice ball & put a stop to him? Honestly, if I lived in Copthorne this picture wouldn’t be Tiger Woods’ kid’s mug shot, it’d be the “After” pic from all the zingers I drilled him with, except with more tears. Just ice ball after ice ball tearing chunks of fro off his dome. I’d go down in history as some sort of snowball-wielding Nolan Ryan/William Wallace hybrid who led the charge to take our village & freedom back. I mean yeah, sure, I grew up a winter warlord when it came to neighborhood snowball fights, but we’re still talkin’ ’bout snowballs. If that’s what’s keeping you and your people boarding your windows & shitting your pants whenever the forecast calls for a few flakes, then whatever the fuck an Asbo is ain’t gonna stop Kean.