Justin Bieber Just Doing His Thing, Assaulting Cops. . .

Posted: March 13 @ 10:00am by 610 in Bolivian
Tags: , , , , ,

[Denver]  A Denver police officer arrested in the beating of his girlfriend claimed that she attacked him with a Justin Bieber doll. Officer Michael Nuanes, Jr., 37, said that his girlfriend hurled a Barbie-sized Justin Bieber doll at him, injuring his foot. He also accused the girlfriend of kicking him, biting his finger and choking him, according to an Adams County sheriff detective’s sworn statement supporting an arrest warrant. “Michael Nuanes stated that (his girlfriend) had thrown a ‘Barbie Doll’ at him, which bruised his foot and (said) that it hurt,” the affidavit said. “Nuanes pointed out a ‘Justin Bieber’ doll, which was the item used to injure him.” The 42-year-old girlfriend accused Nuanes of pulling her hair out and punching her in the ribs, the affidavit said. The girlfriend also said that Nuanes kicked in the locked door of a bathroom where she had taken refuge and then he hit her over the head and back with part of the broken door. At one point, the girlfriend used her cellphone to videotape Nuanes trying to drag her off a bed and the officer used his cellphone to make an audio recording of their argument, the affidavit said. Deputes arrested Nuanes without incident at the Denver Police Department on Jan. 27, according to court records. He faces domestic violence-related charges, including misdemeanor assault causing injury, property damage and obstructing telephone service. He was released from jail on $1,500 bond. Denver police spokesman Lt. Matt Murray said Nuanes has been assigned to desk duty because he is prohibited from carrying a gun under a protection order issued in the domestic violence case.

Motherfucking Bieber.  Listen, I don’t advocate slapping chicks around & beating them over the head with bathroom doors.  But I’m not gonna say there’s NEVER a reason to do so – and I’d like to ask you all not to judge Michael Nuanes unless you’ve actually been around a Justin Bieber doll.  My 7 year-old roommate has one, and he’s an asshole.  Bieber struts around the house all day just singing his yet-to-have-dropped balls off (yeah, it sings) and laying the pipe to any Barbie setting foot in the Dream House.  Easily the most annoying thing I’ve heard since some shithead bought her a singing Hannah Montana b-day card a couple years ago – and she knows I hate him.  So what does she do?  She giggles her little ass off while sticking Biebs in my grill, pressing the button to make him sing over and over and over again.  You know what I did?  I picked that little bitch up by her pig tails & swept the entire living room floor with her before delivering a series of knee & elbow strikes that’d make Bones Jones jealous. And I know what you’re saying.  That’s horrible, I’m sick, blah blah blah.  But take my admission as proof positive that a Justin Bieber doll WILL put you over the edge.  If she’d have thrown it at me, I’d have flushed her down the toilet piece-by-piece.  Just being honest.

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