[GapYear] That’s four X’s, not XXX Island; that’s a very, very different island altogether. Anyway, we all like a little boy’s time (sorry girls). Usually that’s beer and pizza in front of the rugby or a lad’s night out. However, our version of boy’s time is very different to Australia’s version of boy’s time. Theirs usually involves more meat and saying “mate” a lot. They’ve just taken it to the next level as XXXX Gold (the beer) have acquired Pumpkin Island for the next few years. They’re planning on calling it XXXX Island and turning it into a men-only island (again, sorry ladies). Designed to be the ultimate destination for mates’ trips away, XXXX Island will offer people the chance to experience the good life – a relaxing few days where you can do as little, or as much, as you want with mantivities including fishing, touch footy, beach cricket, swimming in the ocean or simply barbecuing the catch of the day with a beer in hand. Currently known as Pumpkin Island, the 6 hectare (less than one square mile) plot of land lies on the Great Barrier Reef off of the Capricorn Coast. Before it officially opens in October, the team behind XXXX Island will be asking Aussies to share their thoughts via the website on what would truly make the island the ultimate destination for those who love the good life. Those Aussies with the best ideas will be in the running to earn a trip for them and three mates to the island valued at AU$10,000. A XXXX Gold spokeswoman said the idea was the perfect way to encourage “mates time”, and ideas for activities on the island already include an “ingenious beer delivery system” and “one-hole golf course”.
“One-hole golf course” is code for “anal”, right? I mean is there a worse idea than this? Or is the underlying goal here to pack an island with a bunch of XXXX Gold-swilling dudes walking funny with ice packs in the backs of their Speedos on their way to play some touch footy? The argument to an all-male island for single heteros is obvious, but even for those with wives or girlfriends it makes no sense. There’s a huge difference between a night out with the boys playing poker & watching the game in Pete’s man-cave and booking a flight for a 7-day stay for you & your three best buds on XXXX Island. Pretty sure it’s a law that any outing with your friends that’s more than a couple hours must involve at least the ogling of chicks you can’t fuck. That’s one of the essentials for a vacation. I want to get away from the ol’ ball & chain, sure – but that doesn’t mean pay AU$10,000 not to see any actual female for 7 days. Give me a titty bar or a Hooters at least before we start calling it the ‘ultimate destination’. Until then, count me out for starring in “Where The Girls Aren’t”.