Lohan’s Dad Would Like Us To Believe His Daughter Is Too Good To Bang A Porn Star

Posted: March 21 @ 11:00am by 610 in Bolivian
Tags: , , , , ,

[NY Post] Michael Lohan has fired back at male porn star Voodoo, who claimed that he once had sex with Lindsay Lohan while her father was asleep in the same house. Michael Lohan says that the adult actor, whose real name is Alex Torres, is both a “dirtball” and a “delusional moron.” “This delusional moron wishes he had a nanosecond alone with Lindsay!” Michael Lohan exploded at Radar Online, responding to Torres’ allegations. “If I ever caught a guy having sex with my daughter in my house I’d be in jail the rest of my life, especially a dirtball porn star.” Michael Lohan charges that Torres, who has starred in more than 350 adult films, was simply using his daughter’s name to increase his own fame. “Another worm crawling out of the woodwork trying to get some publicity,” said Lohan, vehemently defending his daughter’s honor. “Lindsay would NEVER stoop to the level of this neophyte. Sad, very sad. I pity him.” Lohan adds that Torres’ story just doesn’t make sense. “To begin with, not at ANY time that I was with my family or Lindsay at our home, or anywhere, did I go to sleep before my children did,” said Lohan. “I’m a light sleeper. I would never be asleep while my kids were in the house and awake. Or allow any man/male and especially a sleazebag, alone with Lindsay. Can you imagine ME, Michael Lohan, of all fathers, allowing my daughter(s) to be alone with any guy while I was present? Ha ha!” Torres made his claims when he and Michael Lohan happened to be guests on the same episode of Canadian radio program, “The Jim Richards Show.” “Ask [Michael Lohan] if he knows about that night I had with his daughter while he was sleeping upstairs,” Torres told Richards before getting Lohan on the air.

Well I guess this is all the confirmation we need.  LL rented a porn star’s dick.  When your argument as Michael Lohan rests on your Father-Of-The-Year credentials and Lindsay Lohan’s standards, the only thing missing is actual video of Voodoo plowing her ginger snizz.  Give me the story of a dude who fucks while skydiving any day over Mr. Celebrity Rehab claiming it’s impossible he passed out after a 3-day coke binge while his daughter paraded some professional penis in the house.  Honestly, of all the outrageous events on the Lohan track record, this doesn’t even crack the top-10.  Couldn’t be any less surprised.  I’d go as far as saying Alex Torres isn’t telling the whole story.  Probably delivered anal in papa Lohan’s bed while he bumped a few rails and shot the breeze with Dr. Drew.  Hell, he was probably the other half of an Eiffel Tower.  I mean it’s not so far-fetched to believe she blew her dad considering she’s already hooked up with her mom.

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