Jesus is just the worst. You ever have that friend that helped you move one time and never lets you hear the end of it? He showed up late, pretty much just bullsitted with your other buddies most of the time and ate all the bagels. Probably only moved like a box or two before he said he had to bail. But any time he needs something, he’s got to bring it up and throw it in your face… even though it was like three years ago. Well, that’s kind of like Jesus. Yeah dude, we get it. We were just a bunch of sinners and degenerates until you graced us with your presence, eating bread and drinking wine all day with your band of merry men. Then you decided to make the ultimate sacrifice for us… but let’s all admit, it was a half assed job to begin with. Three days later, you just rose from the dead anyway. Way to stay committed. Couldn’t even last the weekend. Besides, it didn’t even work. It’s not like we’re living in some perfect Utopia where we fly on unicorns and poop smells like rainbows. The place is a dump. We’re still sinners and deviants. Yet, here we are… 2000 years later and we still have to hear about this shit… again. And just like the friend that helped you move that one time, he hasn’t even shown his face once ever since. Unless you count all those pieces of toast he’s always popping up on.