The Easter Bunny is the most ridiculous thing in existence – even though it doesn’t exist. I’m not even talking about the fact that, somehow, a fictitious Jesus Christ was fictitiously crucified for our yet-to-have-occurred sins and, to celebrate, a fictitious rabbit comes around and shits plastic eggs in inconspicuous locations all over your house & yard. That’s ridiculous in itself. What bugs me about the Easter Bunny most is the lack of character development and the inability for kids to recognize blatant bullshit. We all know Santa Claus isn’t real – but he’s got a back story. Wife, crib at the North Pole, an army of elves building presents, transportation, etc. Same with Jesus. Fake as hell, but his name is in a ton of books & he’s got a lot of sculptures around. Plus, people might kill you if you don’t believe. So what’s the deal with the Easter Bunny? Where does he live in the off-season? How does he get from house to house & carry all these baskets? Is he an actual bunny, or is he a man-bunny? Shouldn’t a 6-foot tall, upright-walking rabbit scare the shit out of you? I know if I caught that motherfucker shitting eggs in the corner of my house I’d be terrified. If you’re gonna try to tell me that it’s just a regular bunny, fuck you. Why would an animal give a shit about Jesus Christ or eggs? Or even have a calendar to know when to get to work? So many questions and not a single answer – yet retarded kids worldwide are bragging about how the Easter Bunny came by their house and crapped an egg with 37 cents in it right in the dining room table centerpiece. Fucking gross. Fucking stupid. Fuck off, Easter Bunny.