This Cunt’s Quitting Facebook Because It’s Not Worth Her Time

Posted: April 9 @ 4:00pm by 610 in Bolivian
Tags: ,

[KATU]  I’m quitting Facebook because it makes me feel like a loser. I don’t mean reading posts about babies taking first steps and people flaunting their engagement ring makes me feel bad. I mean that the simple act of logging in, scrolling the news feed and posting about something mundane I did isn’t worth my time. I’m about to turn thirty, and as such, I’m looking at every decision in my life. And after weighing the costs and benefits of visiting of Facebook, I’ve realized I get nothing out of it. The truth of the matter is that Facebook is no substitute for a phone call or dropping by a friend’s apartment to catch up over coffee. For some people that’s the point—all they want is a glimpse of their friend’s lives. I don’t need that. And I don’t want to read the musings and rants of people that have floated through my life, but aren’t really friends. Which brings me to the second reason I’m quitting: the pressure to add people I’d rather not let into my life. Whether it’s a parent’s friend or someone I met out, I’d just rather not do it or feel guilty for letting their friend request go ignored. There’s a professional me, an off-work me and neither need to be on full-display, all at once. The mind-boggling privacy settings and inability to categorize “friends” has also been frustrating. Unlike Google Circles, which featured the ability to lump acquaintances in one group and family in another, achieving the same results on Facebook is a 30 minute endeavor that doesn’t always work. With all the drop-down menus to click through and the confusing “Friends” vs. “Only Me” settings, I abandon the process altogether. Finally, and this might be the biggest thing pushing me to leave, I don’t like the idea of Mark Zuckerberg having access to something I posted at 21 when I didn’t know any better. A marketer doesn’t need to know it, and I shouldn’t have to wonder where it’s being stored or what it’s going to be used for. So I’m going to dump Facebook at the end of the month when I turn 30. Hopefully, I won’t feel like a loser, standing on the outside of the world’s biggest social network.

Good for you, twat.  Draw the line in the cyber sand.  Let’s overlook the ironic fact that this article you wrote is simply a wordy Facebook status update that’s not on Facebook.  No need to dissect why you feel like a loser, either.  I doubt it has anything to do with your tiny head, big teeth or that you’re the type of annoying bitch with such an overblown sense of importance that you sat around compiling a list of Facebook pros & cons as it pertains to your remarkable existence.  I won’t pick on your exit strategy. I’m sure your intention of waiting a full month before deleting isn’t to make a big scene & wait for all those “no, please don’t go!” messages to fill up your wall.  But there is a fundamental flaw in your “Fuck Facebook” plan.  All these friends who you feel are deserving of a phone call or a coffee date are still using Facebook – which means any bullshit conversation you thought necessary to have in person is still going to be based off a wall post, relationship status or timeline photo.

Zuckerberg’s meal ticket is responsible for 85-90% of what broads talk about.  It’s like a footnote for life.  You’re gonna go into these conversations blind and you know what’s gonna happen?  You’re gonna end up going over your friend’s house so they can show you their Facebook & get you up to speed.  And that’ll be short-lived because it’ll quickly become annoying.  Before you know it, your “friends” will be tossing your unwanted phone call directly to voice mail & updating their status about how much of an uppity pain in the ass you are.  Jill – there’s no escape.  Especially for chicks.  You’re not all that interesting or original.  Facebook is the best thing to ever happen to a group of babbling bitches.  So congrats on the high-and-mighty pose, but you’re no more important than anyone else.  You’ll be back. If you actually leave in the first place.

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Comments
  1. Cracker says:

    I don’t have a facebook account, never have…which always “is shocking” to people when they first learn that little factoid because I’m usually the most computer savvy fuck in the room. The only benefit I see for guys on facebook is the potential to fuck the girls on there. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’d turn my nose up at the idea of more sex in my life but, that’s the one benefit versus a shit ton of trade-offs. Plus my old lady probably wouldn’t be too happy about all the pussy that would inevitably flood in should I bite the bullet and finally join up. Funniest part is, I’m a Jr, so I have the same name as my dad and he is on facebook…there’s a bunch of my old friends and a couple ex’s in his friends list who are too stupid to realize that it isn’t me.

    Follow me on twitter @ShamuAteMyBaby

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