Check Out The World’s First Lickable Elevator

Posted: April 16 @ 4:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[Stylist]  Like something out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a Jaffa Cake-filled lick-able lift has been installed in the offices of one London communications agency. The unique (genius?) innovation – housed in the company offices of the Engine agency in central London – has 1,325 McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes stuck to its walls as wallpaper. It took a month for food technicians and artists to create the quirky alternative to traditional glass or metal elevator walls. Speaking about the Willy Wonka-inspired design, McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes chief Philippa Tilley said: “We are all about bringing a bit more fun to life. This was the perfect way to get a little joy straight to stressed-out office workers.”

Oh man.  I would LOVE an edible elevator in my building.  15 floors = 15 opportunities for some schmuck to step on and lick the Jaffa Cake (?) I just put my nuts on.  And for everyone who thinks there’s no chance anyone would put their tongue on an elevator wall even if it was lined with Krispy Kremes or barely-legal vaginas, just remember you might be normal.  Not everybody is.  There’s plenty of dipshits in the corporate world who would.  The same people who organize who’s bringing in what for an office birthday.  The gay-but-not-gay-but-probably-gay dudes who are overly bubbly and think “office spirit” is a real thing.  The office outcast or new guy trying to ‘belong’.  I’d be snapping bare-assed farts off all the wall decor.  Topping all these cakes with my ball cheese.  And I’d be laughing my motherfucking nipples off watching clown after clown taste my sack until my dick turned green because someone was one step ahead of me in Prank Town.

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Comments
  1. Cracker says:

    In the future, when people wonder when and where a cocktail of diseases merged to create the herpisyphilaids flu (otherwise known as Plague 2.0)…I will print out this story.

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