I wonder if fat people think about how fat they are and their fat behavior as much as I do. Are they self-conscious about it? Obviously not to the point they’re gonna do something to change, but when normal-sized people are around do they think about what we’re thinking about them? Because I do it all the time and wonder if it’s blatantly written on my face. Like earlier this afternoon when I went to grab lunch there was some fat slob in front of me ordering herself a sandwich. So immediately I start playing my own little game. She asks for mayo on her sandwich and the dude asks, “On both pieces of bread?” That’s such a great question. In my head I’m like, “Of course she wants mayo on both pieces…both SIDES of both pieces would’ve been a better question.” Then I wonder if he just asked her that because she’s a heifer. I’ve never been asked that before. And is this pig embarrassed about her inevitable answer? She kinda peeked at me out the corner of her eye and sighed before saying, “Sure, that’d be great, thanks.” It seemed like she tried to sell the, “Hey, why the hell not, let’s try something new” routine, but I wasn’t buying it. What sucks for tubby here is that she really never stood a chance. If she would’ve ordered light mayo and stressed, “Just a smidge…”, I probably would’ve just blurted out “who the fuck are you kidding, lady?”. She answered the question normally & honestly just to get a blog written about her fatness. Anything other than just being as gross as her blubbery existence seems like it’s bullshit. If you’re obese you have no other option but to excessively celebrate your disgustingness. I’m talking about hopping the counter and shoveling Hellman’s into your face by the fistful. That’s what fat people are to me.