Kids No Longer Allowed To Be Happy About College Acceptance

Posted: April 23 @ 2:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[NY Post]  In an attempt to ease the blow of a student’s first big rejection, New York prep schools are instituting dress codes and Facebook guidelines barring excited seniors from broadcasting their acceptance to top-tier colleges because it would hurt their classmates’ feelings. At the hyper-competitive Horace Mann School, students are not permitted to wear college apparel, including status Ivy League sweatshirts, on campus until after May 1, when most students have settled on what school they’ll attend. And at the Packer Collegiate Institute, students are instructed not to update Facebook with university news until after school lets out. At the private Calhoun School, seniors have a weekly class with the college guidance counselor, in which they discuss “the appropriate way to share news of acceptance,” said Sarah Tarrant, director of college counseling. “The weekly conversation reins in kids who might run around yelling, ‘I got in! I got in!’ ” The city’s selective public high schools are also implementing rules to save the egos of students forced to attend “safety schools.” “It can be bad and it can get weird,” said Darby McHugh, college coordinator at Bronx HS of Science. “We send a notice out to all faculty telling them, ‘Please don’t congratulate students in public, no high fives, no hugging, and please be sensitive so that if you see someone crying, you refer them to the college-adviser office immediately.’ ”

There’s no “funny angle” or whatever to make a blog post out of this.  This shit is straight-up bananas for NY dorks.  So any nerd who’s passed up on sports, spin the bottle & underage drinking to, instead, dedicate their scholastic teenage lives to a SOLE goal now have to shut the fuck up about it & pretend it never happened?  Bullshit.  These kids are smart, they should come up with codes.  Got into Harvard? The signal for that will be “smell my fingers”.  Just run around your snooty NY prep school bragging about how you got your fingers wet.  Sure, your classmates will either not believe you or, more likely, not know what that means – but that’s the point.  Only other Harvard kids will be in on the finger-banging celebration.  Princeton = hand job, Columbia = blow job, MIT = anal, etc.  To all the kids in these schools, sex is to them what quantum physics is to people who aren’t losers – useless.  So exchanging high-fives for a hot lunch or rusty trombone is the perfect way for these tools to celebrate their college acceptance.  If you see a kid bragging about a strap-on, though, give that kid a hug.  Only being accepted into your ‘safety school’ might as well be getting F’ed in the A.


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