Scientists Finally Prove Milk Is Better On Cereal Than Water

Posted: May 9 @ 2:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[Discover]  “The importance of breakfast cereal flakes (BCF) in Western diets deserves an understanding of changes in their mechanical properties and microstructure that occur during soaking in a liquid (that is, milk or water) prior to consumption. The maximum rupture force (RF) of 2 types of breakfast flaked products (BFP)–corn flakes (CF) and quinoa flakes (QF)–were measured directly while immersed in milk with 2% of fat content (milk 2%) or distilled water for different periods of time between 5 and 300 s. Under similar soaking conditions, QF presented higher RF values than CF. Soaked flakes were freeze-dried and their cross section and surface examined by scanning electron microscopy. Three consecutive periods (fast, gradual, and slow reduction of RF) were associated with changes in the microstructure of flakes. These changes were more pronounced in distilled water than in milk 2%, probably because the fat and other solids in milk become deposited on the flakes’ surface hindering liquid infiltration. Structural and textural modifications were primarily ascribable to the plasticizing effect of water that softened the carbohydrate/protein matrix, inducing partial collapse of the porous structure and eventually disintegration of the whole piece through deep cracks.”

If you read that, you’re a fucking idiot and you put water on your cereal.  Weirdo.  Anyway, I’m going to take this opportunity to make a top-5 cereals list and leave it up to you know-nothings to vote.  As a heads-up, I was never a big fan of chocolatey cereals so Cocoa Puffs & Count Chocula can suck my fruity dick.  Weird because, in the candy world, it’s all M&M’s & fuck Skittles.  Anyway, here goes…  

5)  Honey Nut Cheerios – The honey bee made the list simply out of respect.  When it comes to the non-sugary cereal realm, it’s Honey Nut Cheerios and then everybody else.  These bad boys were a regular in my house growing up until I left and started buying the next 4 cereals mama 610 only bought once in a while.

4)  Cap’n Crunch – I was going to specify crunch berries, but, although I enjoy them, I don’t think they tip the scales either way for the Cap’n.  For the record, this was the hardest slot to fill.  The battle was fought between this, Apple Jacks and Frosted Flakes.  Perhaps my choice is skewed by the fact I had Crunch Berries this morning.

3)  Fruity Pebbles – The clear fruity favorite, ahead of Trix fo’ sho’.  I think the best part about Fruity Pebbles is that you can shovel massive spoonfuls down your gullet because they’re so small.  Which works because you have no choice but to eat them as fast as possible – the sog factor is a detriment if you’re looking for a cereal to make long, passionate love to as opposed to just a quick pounding in a public bathroom stall.

2)  Cinnamon Toast Crunch – I could see people giving this the top slot.  On a deliciousness level, CTC can go toe-to-toe with any cereal.  I don’t know what it is though, but when I eat 2 bowls of it I feel like I’m eating chinese food.  Just miserable and I don’t want anymore.  When you’re talking #1 cereal of all time, it should be one you absolutely can’t get enough of.  Which brings us to the breakfast kingpin…

1)  Lucky Charms – I genuinely have no idea how this can be disputed.  Just the perfect mix of solidified sugar and bland…ummm…whatever those things are that aren’t marshmallows.  I mean if you ever need to prove the old adage of “you can’t appreciate the good without the bad”, break out a box of Lucky Charms and only eat a bowl of the marshmallows.  Shit ain’t the same without those other thingies creating a flavorful balance unmatched by any other cereal.

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