Check Out This Dude Arrested For Biting Off Pussy Lips

Posted: May 30 @ 10:00am by 610 in Bolivian

[Orlando]  A Palm Coast man was arrested on suspicion of biting the lips off a kitten and strangling another cat. Angel Vega Roman, 28, was arrested Saturday and charged with cruelty to animals. According to the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office, Roman told an acquaintance that he accidentally choked his roommates’ kitten a couple of weeks ago and bit the lips off another black and white kitten named Oreo.  Roman also tortured Oreo by burning its ear and whiskers with a lighter, a sheriff’s report stated. Deputies went to a home on Burton Place last week and spoke with Roman, who said he tortured the kittens because he has been depressed since his girlfriend is gone, according to the sheriff’s report. Roman was taken into protective custody under a Baker Act. Oreo was examined by a veterinarian, who said the cat’s injuries were consistent with statements Roman made to deputies, the sheriff’s report  says. The kitten’s owners voluntarily released custody of the kitten to the city, which is now responsible for medical expenses upward of $300, according to the sheriff’s report.

Listen, I hate cats just as much as the next normal person – but whoever told Angel the best way to get his girl back is to “eat dat pussy” needs to explain to Angel the difference between eating pussy and eating pussy.  I mean if we’re gonna speculate on why his chick left him in the dust to burn Oreo’s ears & whiskers off, it’s gotta be either his clam-tonguing naivety or his hairline.  So, yeah, it might have been sound advice for most to play the alphabet game on the bean, but apparently Angel is worse off than his buddies thought.  Chicks like kittens, bro.  You can’t go snacking on their faces.  That shit’s common sense.  When your friends said “eat dat pussy” they meant “tongue-dart her queef box”. Although I guess Angel’s idiocy is a good thing for his ex’s labia’s sake.  Would’ve been curtains for her…well…curtains.

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