[9 News] A group of US campers in Idaho’s Smoky Mountains thought they were “rescuing” a puppy lost in the wild last week, only to discover it was actually a wolf cub. Subsequent DNA tests confirmed the animal to be a wolf and not a dog. Now the Idaho Department of Fish and Game faces a race against the clock to locate and reunite the displaced cub with his pack. Such is the low survival rate of lone cubs an aerial search may even be launched to assist the cause. “We haven’t given up yet,” Suzanne Stone, a wolf expert with the Defenders of Wildlife, told The Idaho Statesman. “We have weeks if we can find this pack.” The cub is currently in the care of Idaho’s Zoo Boise, but it’s reportedly terrified of humans and reluctant to accept food. Local officials are reminding campers that it is not helpful to tamper with or remove baby animals from the wild.
Listen, I feel terrible for this cute little son of a bitch, but being separated from his pussy pack might be the best thing to happen to him. I mean what the fuck, wolves? A pair of city slickers just stroll up to the pack and walk away with your baby in the wild with no repercussions? That’s a parental unit that’s clearly unfit to raise a wolf. I don’t know exactly why or when things changed, but I remember a simpler time when wolves ate faces off while homeless people just smoked old-fashioned crack. Now all of a sudden we got bath-salt-induced zombie/human cannibalism and wolves acting like little bitches watching their cubs get snagged by unarmed campers. Fuckin’ Mayans are right. 12/21/12