Swahili Speaking Dude With No Hands Arrested For Throwing Boulders Through KFC Window

Posted: June 5 @ 5:00pm by 610 in Bolivian

[KOAT]  A man who only speaks Swahili and has no hands has been accused of tossing boulders through windows at a KFC restaurant in Albuquerque. Police identified the suspect in the Friday night incident at Central Avenue and Louisiana Boulevard as Koffi Mbairamadji, 46. KFC employee Martin Ventura said he saw Mbairamadji use his arms to launch a rock the size of a volleyball through a window. Mbairamadji spoke through a translator at his arraignment on Monday. The details of who he is and where he’s from are limited. A criminal complaint indicates that Mbairamadji was brought to the country by the United Nations. Ventura said Mbairamadji had chased a woman into the restaurant earlier that day and ended up getting punched by a customer who was trying to protect her. Ventura said he guesses that’s what led the suspect to allegedly break the window hours later. “All this glass is all over, and it’s like, ‘What the heck happened?'” Ventura said. KFC employees said Mbairamadji also found a brick and launched it through a drive-through window. Police said no one was hurt in either rock-throwing incident.

Listen, I understand he’s a man of color and therefore usually guilty until proven innocent – but he really doesn’t have any hands.  You don’t need to speak fluent Swahili to know that.  If we were talking small rocks then OK, throw the cuffs on this motherfucker (and pick them up when they slip off his wrists).  He could conceivably kick a little rock up with his foot & swing his stump like a bat.  You might think that’s difficult to do, but if you’ve ever seen a movie-adaptation of any African country all they do for fun is kick stuff because they’re poor and can’t afford Xbox.  However, we’re talking boulders.  You can’t pick up a boulder with your foot like a hackey sack, nor can you do it with handless arms.  It’s like the difference between a fork and chopsticks.  You can’t eat a whole watermelon with chopsticks.  I’m not saying a black guy didn’t chase a woman into KFC and destroy its windows with rocks.  I’m just saying it wasn’t THIS black guy.

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Comments
  1. Anonymous says:

    The handless person that was arrested on June 01st 2012 in Albuquerque, NM is not Koffi Mbairamadji. Koffi Mbairamadji is living now in Orlando, Floraida. The handless person from Burundi has his own name. The Albuquerque Police and FBI must do their job by finding his real name and clear the name of koffi Mbairamadji instead of putting people in jail under other people’s name.

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