Bear Attacks Fat Dude In Speedo As He’s Pissing On His Lawn

Posted: June 13 @ 2:00pm by scrody in Bolivian
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Just so it’s on record, if I’m ever being attacked by a bear and you’re in the house watching, here’s a list of things I’d like you to try and find… kind of like a living will for bear attacks:

#1 – a big gun
#2 – a little gun
#3 – a crossbow
#4 – an air horn
#5 – a picnic basket
#10, 327 – your video camera

My Swedish is a little rusty, but I’m pretty sure he’s saying, “Olga, you crazy broad… put down the fucking camera and grab my shotgun!” It’s almost as if she’s never had to fend off an attacking bear while her husband pisses on the front lawn in his speedos. Wait, why was she recording her husband whizzing in the yard anyway? Is there some sort of Swedish golden shower grass fetish I don’t know about? Fuck… Siri!


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