Is this even a contest? The supposedly 23 year-old New York representative in the Miss America pageant just got TROUNCED by Christie Brinkley. Not 1984 Christie Brinkley. I’m talking about this weekend Christie Brinkley. 58 year-old Christie Brinkley. Now whether or not Brinkley reigns as the hottest chick in history due to her longevity is another argument for another day. I just wanted to put into perspective what a shitshow this Mallory Hagan cunt is. Actually, let me retract that – it’s not her fault she looks older than a broad twice her age – but it’s New York’s fault for choosing her to represent our great state. I just hope for her sake she’s actually 40 like I suspect. That’d mean she at least had a prime. If Mallory’s legitimately 23 though, she’ll be lucky to look as good as our own Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva before she’s 30. Which means she’s gonna kill herself in about 5 years. Nothing worse than the life of an old & ugly young beauty queen.
P.S. – Christie motherfucking Brinkley.