Long Island Dude Fails At Bank Robbery, So He Knocks Over A Beauty Salon

Posted: June 29 @ 10:00am by 610 in Bolivian

[Newsday]  Suffolk County police arrested a Brentwood man Tuesday who they said robbed a beauty salon after a failed attempt at robbing a bank. Police say Anthony Jannace, 54, handed a teller at a Bay Shore Citibank on East Main Street a handwritten note demanding cash at 12:30 p.m. Tuesday. When the teller refused to comply, police said Jannace left the bank. Police said Jannace entered the Salon Astarte on West Main Street in Bay Shore, less than a half-mile away, at 1:55 p.m. and verbally demanded cash from one of the employees. She complied and gave him cash from a drawer, though police would not specify how much. At 3:24 p.m., Suffolk County Police Canine Officer Mark Sacco located Jannace on Mechanicsville Road in Bay Shore and arrested him. Jannace did not display a weapon and was located after witnesses gave officers a physical description. Jannace, of 998 Crooked Hill Rd., was charged with one count of third degree robbery and one count of attempted robbery. He will be arraigned at First District Court in Central Islip on Wednesday.

I really don’t know what to say about this bald bastard.  On one hand, I want to criticize his persistence. I mean if you’re gonna conjure up the balls to stroll into Citibank with “give me money” scribbled on a Post-It & pass it to the teller, you should probably have a situational plan in place based on what could happen next.  Like, OK, the teller said no.  You can’t just take your note back and leave.  That’s a bitch move, Tony.  Where’s the threats at?  How about the old “gun or bomb in the pocket” routine?  Hell, shove the note right back and say yes.  Just taking your ball and going home sulking is a little disheartening.  On the other hand, though, besides being devastatingly handsome, he’s clearly not Danny Ocean.  You gotta get your feet wet somehow.  So maybe I should be giving this guy credit instead.  Maybe Salon Astarte WAS the situational plan.  It’s like shooting for the moon at the bar and hedging your bets with her fat, ugly friend who just puked on her muffin top.  Porking Miss Piggy might not have been the ideal outcome, but it’s still better than nothing.  Only slight difference is, slampigs won’t lead you to the clink.  Usually.

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