A Sippy Cup Has To Be The Most Ridiculous Thing Ever To Get Shot Over

[WHIOTV]  An altercation that allegedly started over a sippy cup Saturday evening in Desoto Bass ended with a man being shot in the chest. A fight began when a pregnant resident of 69 Benning Place went to 94 Benning to get a sippy cup that she thought the neighbor had taken. A 20-year-old woman who was visiting 94 Benning said she didn’t know where it was, and a physical fight ensued and the pregnant woman allegedly scratched the the visitor. At about 11 p.m., witnesses said several people arrived in cars and joined the occupants of 69 Benning, and the group of about 35 people rushed the woman who was scratched and her friends in the front yard of 79 Benning. A witnesses said he called the police when members of the group grabbed the daughter, assaulted her and threw her against a parked car. The fight had broken up when police arrived. The woman called her 40-year-old father who was at King’s Island and he left the park to pick her up. When he arrived at about 11:45, he noticed a large group of people outside a neighboring house. Within seconds of getting out of his van, he heard gunshots and felt a searing pain in his chest. His daughter and her mother drove him to Miami Valley Hospital at about midnight with what hospital staff called a non-life-threatening gunshot wound to the ride side of his chest. The man told police he didn’t see the shooter, but other witnesses told police they saw a suspect with gold teeth and short hair leave 69 Benning and fire six to nine rounds at the victim and his daughter before running behind the residence. Another witness told police that the woman who attacked the victim’s daughter had accused her of trying to take her kids or reporting her house to Children Services Bureau and that members of the gang Dayton View Hustlers frequent 69 Benning.

First things first – I have absolutely no fucking idea what I just read.  What I do know is that, if no one’s gonna take Chappelle’s advice and turn The Mad Real World into a legit TV series, then the next-best thing is to put “Benning Place” into production as the black “Melrose Place”.  You got your pilot episode right here.  

Former Miss Nevada Held Naked At Gunpoint In Her Apartment. . .By Mistake.

[Daily News]  The Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department broke into a beauty queen’s apartment by mistake, kicked her out of bed and then ogled her naked body while keeping their pistols trained on her, the woman and her fiancé claimed in a lawsuit. Caleche Manos, who was Miss Nevada 2007, said she was in bed with her fiancé in their Santa Monica apartment on the morning of Nov. 15 2011, when sheriff’s officers busted in with weapons and a search warrant. The warrant was for apartment C, but Manos and her fiancé, Eric Otto Ryder, live in apartment A, the suit said. “At that time Ms. Manos was still in bed and was naked,” the lawsuit said. “The sheriff deputies, all of which were male and armed with guns, ordered Ms. Manos to get out of bed and then watched as she attempted to do so,” the suit claimed.  The Carson City knockout said the deputies grilled her and Ryder “in a rough and rude fashion” – all while she stood there helpless in her birthday suit. “It took the sheriff deputies a significant amount of time before they realized that they had executed the search warrant on the wrong apartment,” the suit said. After realizing they botched the raid, the deputies didn’t apologize, but instead told the coupled they’d have a great “story to tell at Thanksgiving,” the suit said. Manos accused the deputies of sexual harassment and discrimination, and she and Ryder are seeking damages for negligence, false imprisonment and violations of civil rights and the Constitution. Explaining the mishap, L.A. sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said the apartments inside the couple’s building were not clearly marked. He insisted the deputies “acted appropriately.”

Wait, you mean every member of the deputies serving this warrant were male?  What are the odds of that happening in a profession where at least 75% have dicks?  Crazy.  They stood there and watched what they thought could be a criminal follow their orders?  Maybe they should’ve just covered their eyes and potentially sacrificed getting shot in the face in the name of common decency.  

Everyone See The Beak On That British Swimmer Chick Last Night?

[Stuff]  Bronze medal-winning British Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington is making headlines for the wrong reasons after being called a “dolphin’s face”. British comedian Frankie Boyle is under pressure to apologise to the swimmer after insulting her looks on Twitter, days before the Olympics began. “I worry that Rebecca Adlington will have an unfair advantage in the swimming by possessing a dolphin’s face,” he said. The comedian was bombarded with message demanding he apologise to Adlington, but he continued to stand his ground. “I have an apology for the people of Britain. Sadly, it’s written on the end of my cock in a braille you can only read with your tonsils,” he wrote on Twitter. Fellow British comedian David Walliams stepped in and used Twitter to defend the swimmer. “I have met and spoken on the phone to double Olympic gold medal swimmer Rebecca Adlington. And she is a beautiful woman, inside and out,” he wrote. “It is disappointing that anyone would want to be mean about her appearance. Rebecca’s an absolute inspiration, and a really lovely lady.”

I don’t know who Frankie Boyle is, but I would chest bump the shit outta him.  Hits the “dolphin face” moniker out of the park & then tells everyone demanding an apology to suck his dick.  Well done.  This picture doesn’t even do this honker justice.  

Kid With Tourette’s Who Can’t Stop Making Nazi Salutes Gets His Ass Kicked

[Daily Mail]  A German teenager who can’t help making Nazi salutes because he suffers from Tourette’s syndrome was beaten unconscious by a black man who thought he was insulting him. Gerrit Oeller, 16, was with two friends who tried to explain to the enraged man that the salute was not meant as an insult, and that he could not control his arm. But when the Tourette’s led the teenager to grin insanely at the man as well, he went mad, hitting Gerrit so hard that he ended up unconscious. The attack happened on an underground line in the Dulsberg district of Hamburg in northern Germany. Gerrit said: ‘He asked me if I thought it was funny and it made me nervous, which made me clench my teeth and he thought I was grinning at him. That was when he hit me. I went out like a light.’ His friends told him that another passenger had raised the alarm with station staff who had asked what was going on, but the pair had been too scared to say anything with the furious man there, only when he went off did they call the emergency services and police. By the time police arrived the man had gone but they are studying CCTV footage in the hope of tracking him down. The boy’s mother Nicola Oeller said: ‘We don’t really want to see him caught to have him punished, but we would like him to know that our son really is sick and it is a genuine condition, and maybe to apologise. He can’t help himself. But there should be more awareness of the condition.’

Was this Amar’e Stoudemire?  If not, I don’t follow why some black guy became so infuriated about antisemitic taunts in his grill that he punched a retarded minor’s lights out.  Reminds me of a time out at the Foggy Goggle where some dude came up to me and my buddies asking to buy drugs.