iPhone Stun Gun Cases Are About To Be All The Rage

Posted: March 6 @ 10:00am by 610 in Bolivian



Sucks for everyone who thinks they’re “too cool” for phone cases. When a black man inevitably pushes through your front door pointing a gun at your ugly face, you’ll be unable to protect your home court. Sure, the Yellow Jacket triples the size of your iPhone, but 650k volts in your pocket is a huge bulge of confidence. Until you shock your cock when sitting down. Or when electrocuting a dude holding a 9mm triggers an accidental squeeze & you catch a bullet with your cerebral cortex. Or when everyone at a party is temporarily paralyzing each other for kicks.

OK, it’s a terrible idea – and terrible marketing to boot. I mean how the FUCK are you trying to launch a start-up iPhone taser company and you don’t zap the shit out of someone in your promo video? That’s Viral 101. The fact that this tool doesn’t back his product enough to show exactly how the Yellow Jacket would’ve turned the tides in the dramatization proves it’s going nowhere. There’s no such thing as bad publicity when you’re a nobody, and nothing says publicity like racially-charged retribution under the guise of a reenactment. This guy missed the boat big time.


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