[MSN] Looking to give your dry winter skin a boost, soften a few wrinkles or say goodbye to your saddlebags? You may want to consider the latest Chinese spa treatment, Huǒ liáo or “fire treatment.” Yep, you read that correctly. News of this bizarre beauty ritual surfaced after a photo of a woman with her face ablaze was posted to the Chinese message board tt.mop. The photo is captioned: “My mom went to get her face done at the beauty salon so I went with her. What I saw… instantly shocked me… I couldn’t look.” So what is Huǒ liáo? Allegedly, this ritual is a widely practiced form of alternative therapy. It involves soaking a towel in alcohol and a “secret elixir” and placing it on a “problem area” such as the face, legs, back and neck. Next, the esthetician sets the towel on fire for several seconds before extinguishing it with another cloth. Doesn’t sound the least bit stressful, right? Proponents claim this dangerous treatment works beauty superpowers on ailments like dull skin, the common cold and obesity.
Huǒ liáo. So hot right now. Huǒ liáo. Piss & jizz just wasn’t cutting it. Are Asians grossed out or afraid of anything? At all? I feel like the only reason I can’t confirm they take diarrhea baths is simply because I haven’t Googled it yet. Well, Google?
Oh my bad, they don’t rub shit on their bodies – they eat it. So I guess it stands to reason they’d light their eyeballs on fire like this broad as if it was a weekly pedicure:
That’s just the price of youthfulness for a broad. Whatever it takes to avoid saddlebagged irrelevance. I bet it works like a charm, too, but it sure as hell wouldn’t fly in America. I’d set the over/under on a Real Housewives wannabe getting wheeled out of a spa looking like Freddy at 14 days, and she’ll easily cash in at court way bigger than that 6-inch toenail dude locked in solitary for 2 years. Although there’s probably an entrepreneurial mind or two out there ready to follow the “concrete ass implants” business model and set some bitches’ faces ablaze in an abandon warehouse. Or maybe we can use it as sexual offender work-release. They’re already trained in applying a rag of flammable chemicals. Igniting it’s the easy part. Everybody wins.