Posts Tagged ‘attack’

Just so it’s on record, if I’m ever being attacked by a bear and you’re in the house watching, here’s a list of things I’d like you to try and find… kind of like a living will for bear attacks: (more…)

Nom nom nom

[WFP] A Winnipeg man is recovering from his injuries after a black bear dragged him from an outhouse and attacked him, near Sioux Lookout, Ontario. The attack happened this past Saturday at 6 a.m. at a camping site on Crown land about 60 kilometers north of Sioux Lookout, in Dunbar Lake. Sgt. David Pinchin of OPP Sioux Lookout said the 65-year-old man and his 63-year-old friend were out camping in the area, when the 65-year-old man went to a wooden outhouse and left its door open. A black bear then dragged the man from the outhouse by his arm and shoulder, before biting him on the back of his head and neck. The bear also slashed at his arms, neck and head. The attack lasted about one minute. “His friend heard all the commotion and the yelling and screaming,” said Pinchin. “And his friend came back out and shot the bear and killed it.” The man’s friend shot the bear with a rifle, said Pinchin. The two then drove from Dunbar Lake back towards Sioux Lookout, to where there was cellphone service. The man then went to hospital for treatment. He also went to get a rabies shot, said Pinchin. “He had puncture wounds to the back of his head and neck, and slash marks to his arms and back of the head,” he said. Pinchin said he would do “the exact same thing.” He said police have had a lot of calls about bears in the last couple weeks, but the animals were non-aggressive. “I would fight back and if I had a firearm, I’d kill the bear,” he said. The man’s son told the Free Press it was a terrifying ordeal for his father. “He was on the john… pulled right from the outhouse,” he said. “The bear had him by the shoulder. He’s scratched up pretty bad.”

Yesterday, I had to take a huge shit. When I perched my cheeks on my throne, I reached into my pocket only to realize I left my iPhone on my desk. No Twitter, no Chess with Friends, no iB… just me and my excrements. Aside from that though, I bet getting eaten by a bear is the worst thing that can happen to you while trying to drop the Obamas off at The White House. Credit his friend though. If he were just a dumb, teenaged chick he’d probably waste his time texting his mom about the ordeal. Instead, he manned up and shot the bastard. The journalist in me has to know though… (more…)

[NBCDFW]  A 71-year-old Richland Hills grandmother was charged with a hate crime after she attacked a gay neighbor with her cane while yelling offensive slurs, police said. Wanda Derby bonded out of jail Thursday afternoon. The victim, Lloyd Guerrero, 25, said the attack followed days of growing tension. Derby’s son moved in with Guerrero and his family about a week ago, he said. Guerrero said the attack Wednesday night was unprovoked. “Honestly, it looked like something out of a TV show. She just, like, whack,” Guerrero said, motioning with his hand. “And I will say, she hit pretty hard.” Guerrero, an actor, said Derby also slapped his mother and assaulted several others. “We finally got the cane and got it away from her and threw it on the ground,” he said. “And then that’s when I ran around and got inside the house. And then we started trying to shut the door. And she was like, full force, coming. I honestly don’t know what she was thinking or what she even had in her.” The responding police officers saw marks and bruising on Guerrero’s throat and torso. Guerrero said Derby has repeatedly called him a slur referring to his sexual orientation. “I was very offended,” he said. “You just don’t go around calling people names because. It’s just not normal.” He also said she posted messages about him online. “She put on Facebook that I had AIDS and that I was going to die soon from AIDS anyway,” he said. His friends saw the postings and he said he’s had to reassure them he doesn’t have the disease. Police say the cane she used is considered a deadly weapon. The charge was enhanced as a hate crime. According to Texas law, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon carries a maximum 20-year prison term. However, as a hate crime, the possible sentence increases to life behind bars. “She deserves every bit of it,” Guerrero said.

Can I be a little “politically incorrect” for once?  I’d just like to use this story to explain the difference between being “gay” and being a “faggot”.  Lloyd Guerrero happens to be both, but the distinctions are unrelated.  For example – it’s gay for him to blow his boyfriend.  It’s faggy of him to say a 71 year-old broad with a cane “hit pretty hard” while describing how he was under attack, unable to flee from her on foot & shut the door in her wrinkly mug.  Follow?   (more…)

[Anorak] THE Phnom Penh Post has news of the man who at his friend’s dog after it was killed by a monkey has been shot dead by the dog’s owner. In Vietnam:

A 25-YEAR-OLD man who ate his hunting partner’s dog after it was killed in a monkey attack was shot dead by the canine’s owner with a crossbow last Tuesday. Police said the suspect and the victim were friends who were hunting together in Kratie’s Snuol district. It is understood the suspect shot his friend because he would not help save his dog from being killed in a monkey attack. The victim then took the dead dog home to eat. When the suspect saw this, he fired his crossbow at his friend killing him instantly. Police say the suspect confessed to the crime following his arrest.

The monkey has not been caught…

What in the… what? I had to read that first sentence twice just to make sure I was following the story correctly. Might be the best sentence ever written. What a chain of events here, huh? I mean, all three of those events could probably be it’s own post: Monkey attack, friend eats dog, guy kills friend with a crossbow. All legit stories. But we’re lucky enough to get them all bundled together. I’m sure this happened over the course of hours or days, but in my head it’s like (more…)

*GRAPHIC VIDEO*! Russian Guy Mauled By Bear!

Posted: August 11 @ 6:00pm by scrody in Bolivian
Tags: , , , ,

WARNING: This video is not for the faint of heart. If you are squeemish in any way, or don’t think you can handle watching some guy have his limbs ripped off and his heart eaten out by a savage beast, do not, DO NOT, click play. You have been warned.