Posts Tagged ‘baby’

[Orlando]  Nationally sold baby dolls are causing a controversy because some say the toys utter a bad word. The “You & Me Interactive Triplets,” which are being sold at Toys R Us stores in Orlando, are causing the uproar because one of the dolls can be heard saying what appears to be the phrase, “Hey, crazy bitch.” “Oh, absolutely. She’s calling them a crazy bitch,” Kathy Wetter said. The dolls are recommended for children ages 2 and older, and there is no warning of explicit language on the packaging. Toys R Us said it has received a number of complaints about the doll but added that the doll is just making baby talk. A mother told Local 6 News that she’s worried her son might say the bad word. “I don’t want him repeating what’s on there,” she said. Toys R Us said it has no plans to take the doll off its shelves, but told Local 6 News that it would allow customers to return the toy with a reciept, if they find it offensive. “I think they should be burned, and I would like to write the (toy maker) a letter,” another woman said.

Make no mistake about it – this baby is most certainly saying ‘crazy bitch’.  I don’t know exactly how the manufacturers could argue or justify it, but I’m all ears.  I don’t see what the big deal is though.  I’m sure kids across America hear or see a lot worse when mom is bitching about the bills or dad is answering her questions about where he was all night with a backhand.   (more…)

20111121-091028.jpg[First Coast]  A 30-year-old Fort Myers woman was arrested on Saturday after admitting to Fort Myers Police officers that she gave a 1-year-old child drinks from an alcoholic beverage. Police say they received a call from a woman requesting assistance around 10:15 p.m. The woman disconnected the phone call quickly. When police called back, the woman stated there was “no emergency.” Officers were dispatched to the area and found a large group of people in front of a residence. Laqweeta Neal was identified as the woman who requested police. Neal told officers that her brother slapped her in the face and twisted her arm behind her head after she provided the child with a “sip” from wine coolers she had been consuming. Due to Neal’s admission that she provided a child with an alcoholic beverage, she was arrested and charged with child abuse. Neal’s brother, Rousheem Williams, was also arrested for the obvious injuries caused to Neal. He is charged with battery.

I’d punch this lady too. Kid’s first sip of alcohol and you’re making it a wine cooler? Rousheem doesn’t want the rest of the ghetto to know his nephew is a huge pussy… and since the kid obviously has no father around, Rousheem does what any self-respecting man would do when a bitch steps up, you gotta smack-the-ho.


[Pocono Record]  Forget snakes on a plane. On Thursday, it was a pair of alligators that flew from the Poconos to Wisconsin. The gators were headed to the Spartan Animal Hospital in McFarland, Wis., where veterinarians will try to repair a leg fracture on 9-year-old “Juvie Gator,” and a hernia on 6-year-old “Baby Gator.” The American alligators are owned by John Boyko, who keeps Juvie and Baby — along with nine other gators — in a Price Township home he purchased specifically for his reptilian pets. Boyko’s gators were injured this past summer when five kids broke into the Monroe County house and pelted the animals with more than 50 rocks. Thanks to a veterinarian who once practiced in Monroe County and relocated to Wisconsin, the gators will now be getting specialized care over the next four months. And how do you prepare to transport two injured alligators in an airplane? Well, you dress them first in pajamas, of course.

First of all, fuck this guy.  You’re gonna try to tell me you give a flying fuck about your gators when you can’t even name them?  Juvie Gator?  Baby Gator?  BABY!?!  C’mon, man.  *this is where I planned on spouting better names for a gator…but I can’t think of any so just pretend I did*  Anyway, this is exactly why you don’t get alligators as pets.   (more…)

[San Diego]  Los Angeles police on Thursday said they are “reviewing information” to determine if they will pursue a statutory rape charge against a 20-year-old Lakeside woman who claims teen crooner Justin Bieber fathered her baby. Officer Rosario Herrera, a LAPD spokeswoman, said no report has been taken about the incident, but detectives are examining information provided by the media to decide if charges are a possibility. In a lawsuit filed Monday, Mariah Yeater alleges that Bieber impregnated her last October in Los Angeles during a 30-second tryst in a concert arena bathroom. She was 19 at the time; he was 16. Under California law, anyone who has sex with a minor and is not more than three years older is guilty of a misdemeanor, which carries up to a one-year jail sentence. Mariah Yeater gave birth to a boy in July. The next month, she and her mother, Michelle Yeater, were evicted from the Mountain View Apartments on Winter Gardens Boulevard in Lakeside for failing to pay rent, according to the managers. Mariah Yeater is seeking a court-ordered paternity test and child support. Bieber’s camp denies he is the dad. “The issue of statutory rape even if she’s guilty, hypothetically, that has no bearing on the duties to provide child support,” one of Yeater’s lawyers, Matthew Pare, told The Associated Press Thursday “It’s a totally separate issue.”

I’m sorry, what was that, Counselor?  Even if she raped a minor for 30 seconds in a bathroom he’s still responsible for child support?  Listen, I’m no Kevin Lomax but there’s no way that can be true.  No fucking way rapists pay alimony.   (more…)

[TSG]  A Pennsylvania couple is facing an assortment of criminal charges for having sex on a city bus, carnal activity that was captured by the vehicle’s surveillance camera. Amanda Confer, 24, boarded the bus on a Friday afternoon in late-August. She was “accompanied by her infant daughter,” a detective reported. Also riding the bus through Montoursville that day were “Pre-release inmates” Randell Peterson and Joshua Schill. The men were part of a work release program that allows inmates to come and go from the county jail at specified times. Investigators allege that Confer and Peterson, 32, sat next to each other in the rear of the bus, with Schill sitting in front of them. Before the illicit action commenced, however, Confer “turned over her infant daughter” to Schill, who apparently served as babysitter/lookout during the subsequent rendezvous. In short order, Confer and Peterson moved from hugging and kissing to oral sex. “After a couple of minutes of oral sex,”Detective Alberto Diaz reported, Confer “lowered her underwear” and, “upon sitting on” Peterson’s lap, “both defendants proceeded to have sexual intercourse for several minutes.” Shortly after the tryst ended, Peterson and Schill exited the bus together, while Confer continued to ride on with her daughter. On her Facebook page, Confer refers to herself as “Randel’s Wifey.”

Fuckin’ Randell.  Good for you bro.  You got yourself a ride or die bitch fo’ sho’, but that’s not even the congratulatory part.  Your little snowflake Amanda does her womanly deed with smarts, discretion & responsibility.   (more…)

[Sun]  DESPERATE Ryan and Dee Harris tried in vain for a baby for 18 months — then conceived while he was ASLEEP. Ryan has the rare medical condition sexsomnia, which makes people perform sexual acts they later cannot remember. He regularly wakes Dee, 25, for sex without regaining consciousness himself. She said they were about to start fertility treatment when she discovered she was pregnant. Customer service assistant Dee said: “I had to keep records of when we had sex. “When I looked back, it was clear I’d conceived on a night we had ‘sleep sex’ as we call it — which means I’m half-awake and Ryan is actually totally asleep. That night Ryan took me by surprise. It put more of the fun back into it — and it clearly worked.” She recalled “The first time it happened, I sent him a text the next morning, saying ‘Last night was great.’ “He replied saying he didn’t know what I was on about. He can never remember — but the sex is more intense.” The couple, from Basingstoke, Hants, have been together for nine years and their son Lincoln is now 16 months old. Carpenter Ryan, 28, said: “I’ve been talking in my sleep for years but when Dee told me we were having sex as well I thought she was joking. “She says she likes sleep sex because I last longer, so I think it helped with the baby.”

Holy shit Ryan, wake up.  No shit she got knocked up while you were asleep.  She left you counting sheep and let some other non-sterile customer service co-worker blow a load up her uterus.  Are you seriously gonna tell me you believe your slut wife’s bookkeeping?  “She keeps a sleep-sex log, it must be true”.  Dummy.   (more…)

[Chicago Tribune]  Amber Miller was nearly 39 weeks pregnant — expecting her second child any day — when she set off from the starting line of the Chicago Marathon Sunday. She ran and walked even as contractions started kicking in regularly toward the end of the race. But she managed to cross the finish line — and grab a bite to eat — before giving birth to baby girl June Sunday night. “I got the OK from my doctor to run half, and my husband ran with me and supported me along the way,” Miller told WGN-Channel 9 from her bed at Central DuPage Hospital. “I ran half and walked half, that’s how I finished. “Everybody just kind of stared as I’m running by.” Miller said she had been running throughout her pregnancy and marathon officials did not discourage her. “Nobody tried to do that,” she said. “It wasn’t too bad, you know? I have been running all the way up until this point anyway so I’m kind of used to it.” She said reactions from the crowd were “very interesting.” “Lots of interesting comments. It was fun for me to get everyone’s reactions.” June was born at 10:29 p.m.: Seven pounds, 13 ounces. So, going back to work today then? “No, I will not,” Miller said, laughing. “I’m taking it easy today.”

Amber, let me be the first to tell you that this shit is impressive as fuck.  Seriously, I’m in relatively good shape and couldn’t run a marathon in a week yet you were able to finish it in a day with a newborn peeking out through your twat.  It’s amazing that you could finish 24 miles with 8 pounds of human inside your gut and actually say afterwards that ‘it wasn’t too bad’.  When your baby girl June is old enough, you can tell her the tale of how you completed the Chicago marathon on the day she was born. Then you can wipe the retarded drool from the side of her mouth.   (more…)