Posts Tagged ‘burglar’


[National Post]
 A teenage burglar in Britain wrote to his victims telling them he was not sorry and they were to blame because they had left their curtains open and a window unlocked. “To be honest I’m not bothered or sorry about the fact that I burgled your house,” the 16-year-old boy wrote to his victims, before offering to “run through the dumb mistakes you made”He had struck in the northern English city of Leeds, stealing televisions, a camera and a Playstation games console. Writing the letter was supposed to be a key part of the 12-month intensive supervision programme that the boy was sentenced to after being arrested. Yet the approach backfired when in the letter, riddled with grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, the boy wrote: “Your thick enough to leave your downstairs kitchen window open. I wouldnt do that in a million years. “But anyways I dont feel sorry for you and Im not going to show any sympath or remores.” The letter was never sent to his victims, but police were so disgusted by the burglar’s lack of contrition that they have made it part of a campaign to persuade householders to make their properties more secure this Christmas.

So this past Saturday around 3:30am, my dogs started going ape shit downstairs.  I didn’t think anything of it until I heard a muffled banging on the far side of my house, so I got up and looked out my bedroom window.  I saw a black SUV pull out & head down the road so I chalked it up to drunk, rowdy kids loading up in the car.   (more…)

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[Star Tribune]  Nine-year-old Buster fought so hard to protect his home that he shattered several teeth as he chomped on his attacker’s hunting knife. He also suffered gashes to his throat, shoulder and jowls. “Every room of my house was filled with blood. It was like a murder scene,” said Larry Wagaman, who returned home to the crime scene about 10:20 a.m. Thursday at his east St. Paul house. Buster, a fawn boxer who survived his latest surgery on Monday, was home alone while Wagaman went on a 20-minute run to buy supplies for a weekend bow-hunting trip. Wagaman, an Anoka County corrections officer, returned to find Buster slumped in his basement kennel in a puddle of blood and gasping for air through a sucking neck wound. A thief (or thieves) broke in by smashing two windows of the house on the 1800 block of E. Maryland Avenue. Cash, computers, a hunting bow, three rifles and Wagaman’s corrections uniforms were stolen. The invader turned Wagaman’s own 6-inch hunting knife on Buster, then left the bloody weapon on the kitchen table. Wagaman wasn’t surprised Buster fought so hard to protect the house he’s lived in since he was a puppy. The dog spent Thursday night at the University of Minnesota veterinary hospital and spent the weekend at home, where Wagaman fed him soft food, kept him warm and medicated with painkillers. Buster’s Monday surgery was to repair his face wounds and to extract broken teeth. The dog’s care exceeded $3,000 — before the latest surgery. Employees in the St. Paul emergency communications center, who heard the initial emergency call, have already raised $500 to help. A fund has been set up for Buster’s care in his name at any Wells Fargo branch. The “Buster Fund” is account No. 642-89-22-071. Still whiny and sore, Buster’s getting TLC at home from 16-year-old Brandie Wagaman, who is sharing a sleeping bag with Buster on the living room floor. Although he’s been moving slowly, Buster has resumed his post as watch commander at the house. Wagaman said: “Even with all the wounds, he wants to sit up and look out the window.”

Question…what would a cat do if your home was being burglarized?  If you said ‘sit there and lick it’s paws while watching a couple of intruders carry out your plasma’, you’re correct.  Dogs, on the other hand, don’t fuck around.  Take our pal Buster.  Dude was like “hey I might not stop you from your B&E party, but I’m gonna lose a few teeth & pints of blood trying”.  That’s why they’re awesome.  Ride or die without a second thought.  I have a couple of boxers a little over a year old, so I can respect the breed…but I’m not sure either of them are a ‘Buster’.  You know what my dogs would do if someone broke in?   (more…)

[MSNBC]  Colorado Springs police say a man’s girlfriend unexpectedly came home just before another woman was due to visit, so he called police to report his new acquaintance as a burglar. The Gazette reports that 24-year-old Kevin Gaylor was cited with a misdemeanor of false reporting to authorities. Police say Gaylor had invited a woman he met online to come to his home after 3 a.m. Wednesday so they could get better acquainted, but his girlfriend came home first. Police say that when the other woman arrived, Gaylor called police and falsely reported an intrusion. Gaylor has an unlisted phone number and couldn’t be reached for comment.

Good for you bro, good for fucking you. How many times has man invited a stranger to your home after 3 am, hoping for a little pound town, and the bitch turns out to be a lot worse once you take off the beer goggles? Happens all the time and there’s nothing you can do about it because your hopes and dreams of putting your P in some V are shattered and Hagrid is pacing around your place, looking to eat something.   (more…)

[Sun Sentinel]  The Broward Sheriff’s Office is hoping newly released surveillance video will lead authorities to the man who robbed a Lauderdale Lakes gas station. About noon on Friday, a gun-brandishing robber stormed into the Chevron gas station at 2400 N. SR 7, according to the Sheriff’s Office. After a store employee saw the man pull a black mask over his head, the clerk ran into a secured, glass-enclosed area behind the register. When the employee tired to shut the door behind him, the robber shoved his hand in the crack of the door, smashing his hand, the Sheriff’s Office said. The robber continued to push his way inside the area and stuffed his pockets with an undisclosed amount of money. As the robber ran out of the store, the employee activated the store’s remote lock. The robber can be seen on surveillance video kicking the door open and running outside. The robber is seen on video wearing blue jeans and a long-sleeve, gold dress shirt. He was described as being about 5-feet, 11-inches tall and 220 pounds.

Click the link above for the video

What an idiot this guy is.  You just got robbed, why are you trying to be a hero?  You trust that bulletproof glass & door locks you’re hiding behind, Mr. Gas Station Clerk?  Clearly your whole security setup isn’t nearly as reliable as you thought considering 3 boots got the burglar out the front door.  (more…)

[CBS] UNIVERSITY CITY, Mo. (AP) Police in the St. Louis suburb of University City say a suspect in a string of burglaries was caught after a homeowner reported finding him frying bacon in her kitchen. Kenya Ealy says she returned home after an errand and found 36-year-old Damon Petty of St. Louis cooking breakfast. Ealy says the suspect initially tried to keep her out of the house by trying to hold the front door shut. But Ealy and a friend managed to tackle and subdue the man and call police. Petty is charged with first-degree burglary. Police are scrutinizing him in connection with other home burglaries. Petty does not have a listed home telephone number. It’s not immediately clear if he has an attorney.

I’m not a legal expert, but isn’t it hard to charge someone with first degree robbery if they’re still in your house? Like, wouldn’t you think that a pre-requisite for robbery would be to actually remove something from the house? Maybe I’m just old fashioned? Regardless, (more…)

[HuffPo] An elderly woman robbed a Colorado bank by passing a note saying she would infect a teller with AIDS if the clerk didn’t hand over money, police said on Friday.

Jeff Satur, spokesman for the Longmont, Colorado police department, said detectives are searching for a pale woman between the ages of 55 and 75 with a “boney build.”

Satur said a woman, who was wearing a train conductor’s cap and a gray sweat shirt, walked into a Wells Fargo bank inside a Safeway grocery store on Thursday night and handed a note to a teller.

“She indicated she had AIDS and would give it to a teller if she didn’t cooperate,” Satur said.

The woman coughed frequently into a blue bandana during the robbery, and fled with an undisclosed amount of cash, Satur said.

Police and the FBI released still photographs of the robbery and are reviewing additional photographs and surveillance video from the bank’s parking lot to try and identify the suspect.

I’m calling bullshit on this whole scheme. No way this wrinkly hag has the AIDS. First of all, elderly people can’t have AIDS. You get AIDS from having sex and old people don’t have sex. People who get AIDS are young and die before they ever reach elderly status. Also, she doesn’t look gay or black which are two more strikes against her having AIDS. (more…)

[UPI]  A 71-year-old Texas woman whose door was kicked in by would-be burglars said her home now bears a sign threatening future intruders’ heads will be “blown off.” Claudia Holland of Hudson said her son, who usually lives with her, was not home about a week and a half ago when someone kicked in her front door about 11:30 p.m. and fled after hearing her and her three dogs, the Lufkin Daily News reported Tuesday. Holland, who said the incident was the first break-in she had experienced in the 40 years she has lived in her home, said her son was worried about his upcoming trip out of town and installed a strongly worded no-trespassing sign. “Try to break into this house again, your head will be blown off!” the sign warns. “I expected it to be a little sign put over to the side, but it wasn’t. It kind of embarrassed me, I tell you,” she said. “There’s been a lot of comments and just a lot of laughing, like people won’t come by here anymore.”

Hey old bag, guess what?  All your neighborhood burglars would like to thank you for the heads-up to make sure they are strapped to the 9’s before stealing your musty plastic couch & shitty rabbit-eared TV.  Guess what else, Claudia?  Your son doesn’t love you and wants you to take a bullet right in your wrinkly old raisin face.  He was concerned about you during his upcoming trip so he bought a fucking sign with a randomly italicized word on it?  How about a reinforced door or an ADT system as opposed to something that puts a bullseye on the house?  As a matter of fact, fuck the ADT system – an ADT sign would have been better than this one.  Unless, of course, the point was to issue a challenge to any prospective thieves.  If that’s the case, then shame on me.  Maybe this fossil is a sharpshooter.  Hope you’re cocked, loaded and ready to fire, grandma.  Don’t just sign it, brign it.

P.S. – How long until someone steals that sign?  Over/under 3 days?