Posts Tagged ‘car’

Danny Glover Has Lost His God Damn Mind

Posted: March 29 @ 10:00am by 610 in Bolivian
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[Sacramento Bee]  A man was arrested after he jumped on the hood of a police car and shouted his name. Sacramento police said an officer was sitting in a patrol car in the 2600 block of Fairfield Street in the Noralto neighborhood about 1 a.m. this morning when a man walked up and leaped upon the hood of the vehicle. He then yelled his own name, jumped down and ran away. The jumper was easy to search for because he was described as wearing a dark puffy jacket, a sombrero and a boxing glove on one hand. Jesse James Thomas, 55, was found nearby, lying in the street. Thomas was arrested for suspicion of being drunk in public.

Happens to the best of ’em, I guess.  NAACP’s version of Gary Busey.  I feel like Danny Glover’s inexplicably been hanging on for dear life to the fringe of Hollywood for decades.  You figure after The Color Purple & Lethal Weapon series, he’d have been a mainstay on the A-list instead of ending up pouncing on cop cars in a sombrero and one boxing glove. Although the easy argument against that is – look at Mel Gibson.  No wonder Riggs & Murtagh were such a great tandem.  Actors always gotta have a little crazy in ’em, and there’s only so long they can keep it from bleeding into real life.  A tell-tale sign is when the Just For Men runs out.  That ‘stache is trash!

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[HP] A 36-year-old Target employee drove her car into a 20-foot deep canal after working the night shift on Black Friday. Florida police said the woman lost control of her vehicle due to exhaustion, reports Miami New Times. The woman is unable to swim, but managed to call police from her cell phone and explain the situation as she and the car began to sink, notes NBC Miami. Palm Beach County sheriff’s deputy Frank Mayo dove into the canal to save the unidentified woman, reports The Palm Beach Post. “Our thoughts are with the team member and her family for a speedy recovery,” Jessica Carlson, a Target spokeswoman told the Palm Beach Post. The car accident comes after a slew of retailers, including Target, made the decision to open at 12 a.m. on November 25 to accomodate Black Friday shoppers. This required employees to arrive at 11 p.m. on Thanksgiving to prepare the store for an influx of shoppers. Target said the decision to open earlier on Black Friday was popular with both employees and customers. But at least one Target employee wasn’t enthusiastic. Anthony Hardwick started up a petition on asking for reasonable working hours over Thanksgiving, reports The New York Times. Though Target never changed its opening hours, the petition went viral and received over 100,000 comments from across the country.

One 12 hour shift and this Target worker is turning her car into a submarine? 12 hours isn’t even that long of a shift. There are plenty of professions where that’s the norm. If working four hours of overtime impaired your driving that much, every fire truck on the road would be a potential shit-wrecker on wheels. Nope, can’t be exhaustion that caused this plunge. What else could it possibly be? Oh, I know…


[NY Post]  His only defense is that he’s a “drunk.” A 22-year-old Long Island man wearing a shirt saying he’s a drunk was charged with DWI early today after he plowed into a cop who was on drunk driving patrol, authorities said. A mug shot taken after his arrest by Suffolk County cops shows Kevin Daly, 22, of Coram, wearing a black T-shirt that read: “I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.” Daly was driving a 2000 Saturn on County Road 83 when he attempted to turn east onto Route 25A and struck an officer’s vehicle at 1:45 a.m., police said. The officer is assigned to the Suffolk County Police Department’s SAFE-T (Selective Alcohol Fatality Enforcement Team) Section. The cop was treated for minor injuries at Stony Brook University Medical Center, police said. The officer’s identity was not made public. Daly, who was not injured, was charged with DWI and slapped with multiple traffic summonses.

Well bro, on the bright side, this shit’s gonna be pretty funny in a few years.  I mean funny to you – it’s pretty funny to the rest of us right now.  Somewhere Alanis Morrisette is sifting through 10,000 spoons looking for a knife, because you’re now officially an alcoholic.   (more…)

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Well no shit she’s gonna be pissed, Ameleah.  I don’t think she’ll be too concerned about the car though. I mean a 5 year-old taking the initiative to hop in the Chevy & find her missing mom is actually something a parent should be proud of.  Sure, her daughter offset those smarts a bit by sitting home alone in the dark for a few hours instead of flipping a fucking light switch – but, having a 6 year-old roommate myself, I know all too well their flashes of brilliance are balanced by utter retardation quite often.  So…what’s Ameleah’s mom got to be pissed about?   (more…)

[KRMG]  A man leaves a downtown Tulsa bar, but can’t find his car, so he calls police to say the car has been stolen. Then he finds the car and decides to drive home about eleven last night, but gets involved in a crash at 11th and South Houston. Police tracked him down after he left the scene to go home. “Witnesses, including the EMSA crew, (said) that’s the guy, he just changed clothes. So we ended up arresting him for leaving the scene of an accident and then calling in a false auto theft report.” Tulsa Police Corporal Dan Miller also told the News On 6 that Daniel Coglin was arrested. Miller says it’s not unusual for drinking drivers to leave the scene of an accident, then call in a stolen car report hours later. He says it just didn’t work this time. Miller says drinking drivers try that trick alot. “Get home somehow and then two or three hours later call in (saying), ‘Oh, I just woke up, my car is stolen, you all can take a report.’ Well, it looks like this time (it) sort of backfired.”

I’ve told my story before, but it bears repeating because Daniel Coglin proves what I tell everyone who makes fun of me for losing my car – it can happen to anyone.  Long story short, I was obliterated in NYC and after getting back to my buddy’s house I decided to hop in my Mini and make the trek back to my apartment.  In my drunken stupor, I missed the (blatant) exit to get on the parkway and within seconds panicked because I was lost and way too hammered to apply any deductive reasoning.  So I pulled over and, naturally, called my mom at like 5am to let her know that “winners win, drivers drive”, then walked to a gas station for a Gatorade & a cab.  When I woke up the next morning I immediately realized I had zero clue where I had left my car.  None.  A real-life ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’.   (more…)

MALONE, N.Y. — A New York man who had abused his ex-girlfriend and then plotted to kill her and make it look like she had been mauled by a bear was sentenced to prison for trying to hire someone to kill her in a staged car crash. Clyde Gardner gave up on his first idea: Kill a bear, skin it and wear the pelt while using its claws to kill the woman as she took out her garbage. The plan included him wearing the bear’s paws on his feet so no human footprints would be left behind. Prosecutors said the 57-year-old junkyard owner had carefully watched his ex-girlfriend’s movements, hiding in the woods with binoculars to learn her routines after she kicked him out of the house they shared in Malone, near the Canadian border. When he abandoned the first plan, Gardner approached a friend and gave him a picture of the woman, her license plate number and $500 toward a $15,000 bounty to kill her in a car crash. Gardner, an experienced demolition derby driver, advised the man how to make it look like an accident. He also told him that if the crash didn’t kill the woman, he should take a piece of broken glass and slit her throat, Franklin County Assistant District Attorney Elizabeth Crawford said. The acquaintance went to police, who sent him back wearing a hidden recorder to get Gardner on tape talking about the grisly plan.

If I know anything about killing a loved one, it’s that you never, ever, under any circumstances let anyone else in on the plan. Unless you’re friends with a professional hitman, chances are your buddy’s gonna rat you out. Believe it or not, not every acquaintance you make is as down with murder as you are. But you’re pretty much headed for failure to begin with if (more…)

[Jacksonville]  Christopher Harris said he’s learned a lesson about meeting people on Facebook after he set up a meeting with who he thought was a woman. “I don’t even like Facebook. I was on Twitter, then I go back to Facebook for two days and this happens to me,” said Harris. Harris said that when he went to meet this person, he instead found a man at the end of a dead end road. The man pulled out a gun, shot into his car door, said Harris. He said he put the car in reverse, hit a fence and then slammed into a tree. “I’m glad I watched James Bond yesterday,” said Harris. “I’m not going back to Facebook, I’m staying on Twitter. Stuff like that don’t happen on Twitter,” he added. After Harris got away, he called police. When police checked for the woman’s Facebook page, it was deleted. “He definitely was scammed, deceived by a person on a social networking site. You never know what you’re going to get,” said Channel 4 Crime Analyst Ken Jefferson. Jefferson said people need to be careful about who they are meeting online, and that meeting someone alone is particularly dangerous.

Who the fuck is this Channel 4 Crime Analyst Ken Jefferson?  He was definitely scammed?  Really?  Well intoBOLIVIAN’s Crime Analyst 610 is gonna beg to differ.   (more…)