Posts Tagged ‘dog’

[WPTV]  An Oakland Park man accused of getting a little too friendly with his roommate’s 3-year-old Chihuahua mix is due in court Friday morning to face an animal cruelty charge. Tomas Bautista, 40, was arrested in February after his roommate found him passed out with his pants down in the backyard of their home on the 300 block of Northwest 42 Street, according to the Broward Sheriff’s Office. The dog, Mimi, had just let out a loud yelp and was running from Bautista when the roommate went outside to investigate. Gov. Rick Scott signed the law in May. The animal cruelty charge Bautista faces could land him a maximum prison term of five years, plus a $10,000 fine. Bail was set at $2,500, but Bautista also remains in custody on an immigration hold.

First of all, don’t fucking judge me.  Yeah I typed that title because that’s the first thought that came into my head but you’re the one who had to click & read up on the topic so suck my dick.  Speaking of my dick, I’d bet any amount of pesos there’d be no way it’d fit in a Chihuahua – and I’m half-Irish.  So I’m not even sure what these charges are all about.   (more…)

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[KSL]  It wasn’t his dog’s bark or bite that had a Brigham City man concerned, it was his aim. A man was recovering Wednesday after being shot over the weekend by his dog. A 46-year-old Brigham City man and a friend were duck hunting Sunday about 8:30 a.m. on the north end of the Great Salt Lake near the bird refuge, about 10 miles west of Brigham City. The two had their canoe-like boat in a shallow marsh area when the man got out of the boat to either set up or collect decoys. He laid his 12-gauge shotgun across the bow of the boat, said Box Elder County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Kevin Potter. After the man got out of the boat, a dog inside the vessel jumped up on the bow and stepped on the gun. The gun fired and shot the man in the buttocks. Medical crews later removed 27 pellets of birdshot. “(The dog) did something to make the gun discharge,” Potter said. “I don’t know if the safety device was on. It’s not impossible the dog could have taken it off safety.” The men called 911 and walked to the main road to wait for emergency crews. The fact the man was wearing waders likely helped prevent a more serious injury, Potter said. The gun was fired from approximately 10 feet away, he said. Potter did not have information on the type of dog that stepped on the shotgun. Even though the two were duck hunting near a bird refuge, Potter said it was legal.

Sucks, right man?  Getting shot in the butt cheek for no fucking reason when you least expect it?  I’m gonna venture to guess those ducks feel the same way.  So kudos to this dog for busting a cap off on behalf of the animal kingdom.  I’m no PETA freak, just stating the facts.  If you want to go hunt, then go hunt. I’ll eat the shit out of some venison.   (more…)

[NBC]  Over the past three days, you may have seen her at a busy intersection in University City, however, on Friday, she said she was putting away her bikini, at least for now. Arlene Corona’s beloved Chihuahua named “Chispita” went missing more than a week ago and so she decided to put up flyers along La Jolla Village drive where the dog was last seen. However, when no one responded to her pleas for help, Corona decided to attract more attention by holding a sign and wearing a bikini at the intersection of Genesse and La Jolla Village. “My heart is just to not [going to] give up hope,” said Corona. “I’m stressed out and I’m depressed but I just feel like somebody is going to return her, you know?” On Friday morning, Corona received a ray of hope after getting an email from a man who identified himself as Merl. “He was telling me it was really late, I can’t speak on the phone right now [but] my daughter has your dog and I’m so sorry my daughter has just been so afraid to return it,” Corona said. In the end, the man didn’t want reward money for his help in returning the dog. According to Corona the man wanted sexual favors. She added that he sent her a picture of a Chihuahua, along with a picture of his genitals. “I was like oh my god this is so scary, I was like shaking, and I was like maybe he really does have my dog, or maybe he’s just a creep,” Corona said. Corona realized the picture wasn’t her dog, so she said she decided to ignore the man. Sometime later she received a text from a different number from someone claiming a neighbor was beating Chispita. Corona was about to meet the “texter” in Mira Mesa until she called his number. This information didn’t lead anywhere either since the voicemail turned out to be from the same person claiming to be Merl. For now, Corona says she’s afraid her bikini publicity stunt may have led to a potentially dangerous situation, “Its just turned into something that I didn’t think it would.”

Listen, I’m not gonna sit here and flat-out condone stalking, harassment, rape, etc.  I’m relatively certain acts such as those are wrong regardless of the circumstances.  Louis CK once said “you should never rape someone unless you want to cum inside them but they won’t let you”, but he sounded like he was joking.  Still, sluts, you gotta take responsibility sometimes and cut the helpless victim bullshit.   (more…)

[UPI]  A dog allegedly was spotted driving a mobile home down the street in Darwin, Australia, after learning how to drive by observing his owner, observers claim. Woodley, a 2-year-old German Koolie, allegedly took the mobile home for a spin while his owner, Richard McCormack was in a store, The Sun reported. “I came out and saw the bus going down the road. I couldn’t believe it,” McCormack said. This isn’t the first time Woodley has tried to take the wheel, his owner explained. “He sits next to me when I’m driving and in the driver’s seat when I’m not. The handbrake is on the dashboard and he’s seen me release it many times. He was just copying me. He’s tried it on before,” said McCormack. The vehicle was eventually brought to a stop when bystander Phil Newton, 30, jumped in an open window and put the handbrake back on after seeing that a dog was navigating the mobile home. “This was weird, even for the Northern Territory,” he said.

That is the scariest fucking dog I’ve ever seen.  German Koolie, huh?  That’s not even a real breed.  That’s a rabid coyote, Dick.  I’m surprised Woodley didn’t rip Phil’s arm off when he decided to vault himself into this coyote’s lap and pull the handbrake.  But let’s not go and give Woodley props on passing his road test.   (more…)

[HuffPo]  A Cobb County, Georgia man is alive today because of his best friend’s heroic act. Scott Dunn was sick when he fell asleep on his couch next to his 3-and-a-half-year-old boxer, Duncan, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. When he awoke to the dog pawing at him at around 3:30 a.m., Dunn thought Duncan just wanted to go for a walk. But, when Dunn opened his eyes to a roomful of smoke, he realized something was terribly wrong, according to CBS Atlanta. “Duncan was covered up with me, and I fell asleep, and the next thing I knew, he was poking at me and barking,” Dunn told the AJC. “Normally, that means he needs to go out, but when I woke up, I couldn’t see because there was smoke.” Dunn grabbed his keys and headed for his truck, holding Duncan by the collar. When he reached the vehicle, he found the collar in his hand, but no dog attached to it. Though Dunn wanted to go back into the house to fetch his pooch, he told the AJC his neighbors convinced him not to. Duncan was found curled up on Dunn’s bed after firefighters put out the blaze. “That’s my boy. He saved my life,” Dunn told CBS. “He saved my life, but I couldn’t return the favor. It was too hot in there. I couldn’t get back in there.” Northeast Cobb Patch reported that the fire crews assisted Dunn in burying the dog before leaving the scene. The cause of the fire is still under investigation, but much of the house was destroyed during the incident.

I fucking swear to God as soon as I can stop hysterically crying and blowing snot bubbles, I am beating the shit out of Scrody.  I’m looking through the post scheduling and I see he saved me an article to write up under the title “610 – Want A Boxer Story?”.  I couldn’t click on it fast enough – and I gotta read this crap?   (more…)

[Anorak] THE Phnom Penh Post has news of the man who at his friend’s dog after it was killed by a monkey has been shot dead by the dog’s owner. In Vietnam:

A 25-YEAR-OLD man who ate his hunting partner’s dog after it was killed in a monkey attack was shot dead by the canine’s owner with a crossbow last Tuesday. Police said the suspect and the victim were friends who were hunting together in Kratie’s Snuol district. It is understood the suspect shot his friend because he would not help save his dog from being killed in a monkey attack. The victim then took the dead dog home to eat. When the suspect saw this, he fired his crossbow at his friend killing him instantly. Police say the suspect confessed to the crime following his arrest.

The monkey has not been caught…

What in the… what? I had to read that first sentence twice just to make sure I was following the story correctly. Might be the best sentence ever written. What a chain of events here, huh? I mean, all three of those events could probably be it’s own post: Monkey attack, friend eats dog, guy kills friend with a crossbow. All legit stories. But we’re lucky enough to get them all bundled together. I’m sure this happened over the course of hours or days, but in my head it’s like (more…)

[Sweden]  A 23-year-old man has been charged with rape in Karlskrona, after Rapports Opus, southern Sweden’s only police dog specialised in sniffing sperm, caught a whiff of his case. The charges against the man state that in the beginning of June he threatened and physically forced a woman to perform oral sex on him in a Karlskrona park, reported regional newspaper Sydöstran. The evidence against him is heavy. On top of a medical certificate testifying to bodily damage, witnesses who’ve spoken with both the victim and the accused, as well as a witness who overheard the act, the prosecutor has one more ace up his sleeve in the form of the sperm-sniffing police dog’s forensic investigation. The dog found traces of semen on the scene of the crime and after being sent for analysis these were found to match the 23-year-old’s DNA. Rapports Opus underwent a year’s training in order to reach his exalted position as the sole sperm-sniffing dog of the region. “He’s the only dog in southern Sweden specialised in tracking sperm,” said B-G Carlsson, the police officer who trained the dog, to Sydöstran.

No no no no no no no no no!!  What the motherfuck????  Listen, if you’re one of those weirdos who wants to put cottage cheese on your sack and have your dog lick it off – OK whatever, at least the pup’s taste buds are getting a treat.  You wanna make love to Fido?  Gross, but if you’re gentle and use protection who am I to judge?   (more…)