Posts Tagged ‘driving’

[Chicaco Tribune]  A suspected drunk driver sped the wrong way up the Edens Expressway early this morning, dodging dozens of motorists–and they him–for about 11 miles over 10 minutes until he was finally stopped by police, Illinois State police said this morning. Sergio Galvez-Delira, 24, of Glenview was charged with DUI, reckless driving, having open alcohol, no insurance and improper lane usage, police said. State police received at least 15 calls about a black 2001 Mitsubishi SUV that was driving north in the southbound lanes on the  Edens expressway from Elston Avenue just after 2:30 a.m., officials said. Galvez-Delira, managed to avoid striking any other vehicles on a rain-slicked roadway. “There was a lot of luck on that one,” said State police Master Sgt. Joseph Stangl. The SUV continued north into suburban Glencoe, where local police stopped the SUV just north of Tower Road and took the driver into custody, Stangl said. State police credited the early hours, sparse traffic and alert drivers with avoiding a potential major tragedy. “Several callers reported they were nearly sideswiped by other drivers, and they were fearful of how to gaain control of their vehicles,” Stangl said.

I’ve been there, Sergio, so I’m not gonna pick on you.  Anyone who’s hopped behind the wheel with a bit of a buzz on knows that Rule #1 is to remain calm when shit starts to go a little haywire.  Odds are whatever is happening isn’t as bad as it seems, so panicking will only draw more attention to the situation.  Like driving into potential oncoming traffic, for example.   (more…)

[UPI]  A dog allegedly was spotted driving a mobile home down the street in Darwin, Australia, after learning how to drive by observing his owner, observers claim. Woodley, a 2-year-old German Koolie, allegedly took the mobile home for a spin while his owner, Richard McCormack was in a store, The Sun reported. “I came out and saw the bus going down the road. I couldn’t believe it,” McCormack said. This isn’t the first time Woodley has tried to take the wheel, his owner explained. “He sits next to me when I’m driving and in the driver’s seat when I’m not. The handbrake is on the dashboard and he’s seen me release it many times. He was just copying me. He’s tried it on before,” said McCormack. The vehicle was eventually brought to a stop when bystander Phil Newton, 30, jumped in an open window and put the handbrake back on after seeing that a dog was navigating the mobile home. “This was weird, even for the Northern Territory,” he said.

That is the scariest fucking dog I’ve ever seen.  German Koolie, huh?  That’s not even a real breed.  That’s a rabid coyote, Dick.  I’m surprised Woodley didn’t rip Phil’s arm off when he decided to vault himself into this coyote’s lap and pull the handbrake.  But let’s not go and give Woodley props on passing his road test.   (more…)

[Sentinel] A Middlesex Township woman faces DUI charges after police said she was riding her motorized wheelchair in a mobile home park while intoxicated this morning. Middlesex Township police said they received a report that a woman was crawling around a yard in the Country Manor mobile home park at 4:23 a.m. When police arrived, they found Connie Lebo, 63, sitting in her motorized wheelchair and drunk, according to police. Lebo told police she had been driving the wheelchair around the mobile home park when she crashed and started to bleed, police said. Lebo told police she then tried to cut through a yard and flipped the wheelchair over, according to police. Lebo was taken to the Carlisle Regional Medical Center and submitted to a blood test, police said. She was charged with driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content of .16 percent or higher, according to police.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve probably said it at least twice, women do not belong behind the wheel. Or on top of wheels as the case may be. Pretty much being attached or near any sort of wheeled, motorized apparatus of any kind is a bad idea. But it really takes a special kind of cretin to be able to pull this stunt off. (more…)

[Washington Post]  Lawsuits after car crashes are beyond common. But in the Fairfax County courthouse, a lawsuit about a crash on the Beltway last year is dropping a few jaws as it makes the rounds and heads toward trial next week. Among the latest allegations in the lawsuit pending in Fairfax County Circuit Court:

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

Records show the defendant, from Woodbridge, was convicted in Fairfax district court of drunken driving near Telegraph Road in May 2010. But now he denies he was driving. He was coming from his 21st birthday party in Baltimore, court records state. The woman involved has been dismissed from the case. There was someone ELSE in the car too, and HE denies driving as well. The defendant’s lawyer, Frank Prior, said there was “no statement by anyone that they were driving on the Beltway having sex” and “no facts on it.” The plaintiff, a 28-year-old cab driver, is seeking $75,000 in damages and is represented by Douglas R. Stevens, who declined to comment beyond his court filings. But Stevens sought punitive damages against the defendant and the friend, arguing in a pleading that “having sex at 85 miles per hour while drunk on a freeway is willful and wanton negligence.”

Willful and wanton negligence?  That’s not what I’d call having drunken sex in the back seat while ghost-riding your car at 85 MPH on a freeway for your 21st birthday with a buddy watching.  I’d call it the ‘epitome of awesome’.   (more…)

I hear you really have to watch this with the CC enabled and it’s like ten times funnier. Well, I get the stupid red exclamation point every time I try that but I still think this video is fucking hilarious.

Meanwhile, you got this little Ese with his little señorita drifting like a boss. No whining from them, just straight badassery. I just hope they don’t crash. No way they have insurance:   (more…)

I’m not exactly sure why the person shooting this video keeps referring to the driver of the swervy car as “he” when it’s obviously a chick. Regardless, I want to throw this video up as part of my ongoing campaign to keep the streets of Saudi Arabia safe. This is what your roads are going to look like, but times a thousand. 

Wait… Breaking News! It appears my message has gotten through to the people. As I was going back to reference the old story, I came across this:   (more…)

I’m not usually one for fatwas, generally speaking. I’ve just never been a fan of religion getting in the way of my life. Keep your hocus pocus to yourself. But I think the Saudis might actually have this one right.   (more…)