Posts Tagged ‘girlfriend’

[Denver]  A Denver police officer arrested in the beating of his girlfriend claimed that she attacked him with a Justin Bieber doll. Officer Michael Nuanes, Jr., 37, said that his girlfriend hurled a Barbie-sized Justin Bieber doll at him, injuring his foot. He also accused the girlfriend of kicking him, biting his finger and choking him, according to an Adams County sheriff detective’s sworn statement supporting an arrest warrant. “Michael Nuanes stated that (his girlfriend) had thrown a ‘Barbie Doll’ at him, which bruised his foot and (said) that it hurt,” the affidavit said. “Nuanes pointed out a ‘Justin Bieber’ doll, which was the item used to injure him.” The 42-year-old girlfriend accused Nuanes of pulling her hair out and punching her in the ribs, the affidavit said. The girlfriend also said that Nuanes kicked in the locked door of a bathroom where she had taken refuge and then he hit her over the head and back with part of the broken door. At one point, the girlfriend used her cellphone to videotape Nuanes trying to drag her off a bed and the officer used his cellphone to make an audio recording of their argument, the affidavit said. Deputes arrested Nuanes without incident at the Denver Police Department on Jan. 27, according to court records. He faces domestic violence-related charges, including misdemeanor assault causing injury, property damage and obstructing telephone service. He was released from jail on $1,500 bond. Denver police spokesman Lt. Matt Murray said Nuanes has been assigned to desk duty because he is prohibited from carrying a gun under a protection order issued in the domestic violence case.

Motherfucking Bieber.  Listen, I don’t advocate slapping chicks around & beating them over the head with bathroom doors.  But I’m not gonna say there’s NEVER a reason to do so – and I’d like to ask you all not to judge Michael Nuanes unless you’ve actually been around a Justin Bieber doll.   (more…)

[Weird News]  Two trailer park residents in Dayton, Ohio are going to be battling this out in court over the next few months. Tattoo artist, Ryan L. Fitzjerald was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent.  She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it. Apparently Ryan found out that she had cheated with a long-time friend of his and this was his way of getting even.  Originally Rossie tried to have Ryan charged with assault but it turns out this crafty tattoo artist got her to sign a consent form prior to the tattoo and it said that the design was ‘at the artists discretion’, she claims; “he tricked her by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo”.  “Actually I was passed out for most of the time, and woke up to this horrible image on my back.”

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a loser.  Embarrassing as it is, I don’t know a single god damn thing about Narnia.  I think it’s where Harry Potter hid the rings from the hobbits, right?  Whatever.  When you’re done laughing at me, let’s put together some logic here – because Narnia’s nothing without sensibility.   (more…)

[NWF Daily News]  A 57-year-old man was arrested Wednesday and charged with burglary of a home on Gulf Cove Court. Larry Lynn Hensley, of Santa Rosa Beach, is charged with breaking into his ex-girlfriend’s home and lighting an ironing board and towel on fire in the living room, according to the Walton County Sheriff’s Office. Hensley was charged with unarmed burglary, a second-degree felony. He was being held in the Walton County Jail on $25,000 bond Saturday.

This ironing board was undoubtedly responsible for their relationship turning sour.  I don’t know how and I don’t know why, but it was clearly Larry Lynn’s target from the get-go.  I mean he could’ve torched anything.  Furniture, clothes, pets, her head…but he singled out the ironing board.   (more…)

[MSNBC]  Colorado Springs police say a man’s girlfriend unexpectedly came home just before another woman was due to visit, so he called police to report his new acquaintance as a burglar. The Gazette reports that 24-year-old Kevin Gaylor was cited with a misdemeanor of false reporting to authorities. Police say Gaylor had invited a woman he met online to come to his home after 3 a.m. Wednesday so they could get better acquainted, but his girlfriend came home first. Police say that when the other woman arrived, Gaylor called police and falsely reported an intrusion. Gaylor has an unlisted phone number and couldn’t be reached for comment.

Good for you bro, good for fucking you. How many times has man invited a stranger to your home after 3 am, hoping for a little pound town, and the bitch turns out to be a lot worse once you take off the beer goggles? Happens all the time and there’s nothing you can do about it because your hopes and dreams of putting your P in some V are shattered and Hagrid is pacing around your place, looking to eat something.   (more…)

[WKMG] SANFORD, Fla. — A man is charged with attempted murder after his mother told police that her son used pepper spray on her and shot at the door of a room she had locked herself in. Sanford police said Gayle Fahr called 911 Saturday night to report that her “son had turned on her.” When officers arrived at the home, Fahr’s son, Gene Fahr, 51, answered the door and directed officers to the room where his mother was located, police said. Officers were initially unable to open the door due to bullet holes near the handle, and opened the door with force, police said. Police said Gayle Fahr, who was wearing an oxygen mask, was visibly shaken. Gayle Fahr told officers that her son had been drinking and blamed her for his recent break-up with his girlfriend, police said. She said her son sprayed pepper spray into a fan in her room, took her phone, disabled her computer and told her she would not be contacting anyone, police said.After grabbing a phone from another room, Gayle Fahr told police she locked herself in her room, but Gene Fahr tried to force entry by shooting at the door knob several times, which made him unable to open the door.

Well, I don’t think this is the exact advice that Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva would have given, but I’m pretty sure Gene at least was on the right track. In life, there are going to be obsacles. People and events are going to stand in our way and try holding us back. The best we can do is (more…)

Fuckin’ Alec Baldwin. . .

Posted: September 2 @ 11:00am by 610 in Bolivian
Tags: , , ,

Good for you, I guess.  I mean we all know what this broad is up to, but isn’t that why dudes want to be famous?  So hot yoga instructors half your age pretend they like you & flash their assholes up in the air as they’re contorted like a pretzel?  Just wait ’til one of my movie scripts gets picked up.  Bring on the 16 year-olds…

[Citizens Voice]  A Butler Township man claiming to a have a bomb demanded money from a bank teller in Sugarloaf Township on Monday, only to return it minutes later after a scolding from his girlfriend, police said. Otto C. McNab Jr., 36, of 73 E. Foothills Drive, Drums, was arraigned by Magisterial District Judge Ronald Swank in Mountain Top on Monday evening, hours after demanding money from a bank teller at Susquehanna Bank and telling the employee he had a bomb and was willing to detonate it. “Times are tough,” McNab told reporters as he was escorted by police into Swank’s office Monday night. “You gotta do what you have to do to support your family.” McNab entered the bank around 12:15 p.m. Monday and told the teller, “I have a bomb. Give me the money or I’m going to set it off.” He left the bank with $2,262 and returned to his vehicle, where his girlfriend sat waiting. Unaware McNab had planned to rob the bank, his girlfriend yelled at him. He returned the money and left the parking lot. Using a description of the vehicle, police located McNab in the area of state Route 309 in Butler Township. Police took McNab into custody after stopping him as he pulled into his driveway. McNab is charged with robbery, theft by unlawful taking, receiving stolen property and terroristic threats. McNab’s girlfriend will not face charges, police said.

No-brainer here, Otto.  You did the right thing.  Times are tough fo’ sho’, but just because you sacrificed your freedom & potentially your life to make ends meet for your loved ones doesn’t mean the end result of a couple G’s is worth a woman’s scorn.  Wait a minute…that’s probably what you got the scolding for. If so, then it’s well deserved.  Who the fuck robs a bank for $2k?   (more…)