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[HuffPo] Apparently, not even the massive King of Diamonds can contain all the strippers in Miami. Attorneys doing business at Downtown’s Federal Detention Center — a maximum security prison — say the joint is overrun with dancers posing as paralegals. Lawyers hired by imprisoned drug kingpins pass the women off as legal assistants and authorities let them in, according to a report by Miami New Times. This being Miami, it was apparently no big deal until other attorneys realized they might start losing clients to those whose billable hours come with a little bada bing. The report alleges one ‘paralegal’ was caught having sex with an inmate in a room used for legal meetings, while another was busted stripping in a Special Housing Unit — also known as solitary confinement — and banned from the prison altogether. While many attorneys are up in arms — or being forced to take off their bras — others are used to Miami being, well, Miami. This isn’t the first instance of one or more lovely Miami ladies with cartel clients in super max prisons. In 2009, the Denver Post profiled a woman named Lulu who left the Magic City to be closer to clients who paid her $125 an hour to deliver legal docs and keep a little company. And just north of Miami in Broward County, there’s less security but a lot more ‘access’ — female corrections employees are the ones getting friendly, with one caught having sex with an inmate in a broom closet.
Can someone explain to me the difference between a stripper and a paralegal? The only thing I can come up with to differentiate strippers from any other female is that ladies of the pole aren’t ‘secret’ sluts. But let’s be clear – you’re all sluts whether you hide it or not. Don’t try to tell me that it’s impossible for a legal aid to deliver documents then shake their assholes in their client’s faces. Don’t chicks like bad boys? (more…)