Posts Tagged ‘olive garden’

[Yahoo]  The owner of the Pittsburgh Power fired all 24 members of his team during a pregame meal at an Orlando-area Olive Garden. With AFL players set to strike before the 2012 season opener, owner Matt Shaner reacted first, cutting his entire team hours before kickoff of a game against the Orlando Predators. “Mid-statement, all the players got up and left,” former Power center Beau Elliott told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. “Every player got up and left while he was still talking. There were 15 to 20 angry, large individuals.” The AFL Player’s Association was calling for an increase in the $400 game checks paid to most players on each team. The union demanded a 300 percent increase in the minimum salary. AFL owners countered with a $100 raise. Shaner told the newspaper that some players split from the union and returned to the team in time for Saturday night’s game. Those who didn’t were stuck in Orlando and forced to return to Pittsburgh on their own. Members of the Predators were also released. The game was still played, with unfilled roster spots being taken by replacement players, some of whom arrived to the arena minutes before kickoff. One backup quarterback switched teams before the game after getting “drafted” during a pregame selection. As a result, the season opener had the feeling of a pick-up game down by the local high school field. The NFL Network broadcast the game live. Announcers reportedly couldn’t identify a number of players. Pittsburgh won 40-26, in front of more than 13,000 fans.

Well I guess that’ll be the end of negotiations, eh?  The AFL Player’s Association just got cock-slapped by Matt Shaner right in the middle of Olive Garden.  Could there be a worse place to be embarrassed like this?  I mean if I’m part of the Union I’m graciously accepting the extra hondo and countering with simply moving the pre-game spread to Houlihan’s or something.  You’re in the Arena Football League, homie.   (more…)

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[Daily News] Watch those drinks, kids!

Another traumatized mother claims her child was served an alcoholic drink at a restaurant – this time at a Chicago-area Chili’s on Sunday.

The incident is the latest in a string of reports in which children have accidentally being served booze at chain restaurants. Earlier this month, a Florida woman said her 2-year-old was given white wine at an Olive Garden in New York, while a 15-month-old was rushed to the hospital in Detroit after being served a margarita instead of apple juice at an Applebee’s.

This time, Illinois mom Tyree Davis says her four-year-old daughter Brooklynn drank an alcoholic mudslide, thinking she was sipping on a milkshake.

After four sips, Brooklynn told her mom the shake tasted funny and began acting a little strange.

“She was closing her eyes for a minute at a time, and she was telling me that her stomach hurt and her head hurt, and she just wanted to lay down,” Davis told local station WGN.

These little fuckers are smart and way ahead of their time. I remember in high school, there was always a gas station or 7-11 that would sell us beer without checking our ID’s. After a while they’d either get busted or come to their senses or whatever and we’d have to move on to the next place. We’d just keep improvising, adapting and overcoming like we were the goddamn Marines on a mission to get blitzed. Well that’s exactly what’s going on here. Once Applebee’s put the kabash on kiddie happy hour, the rugrats spread the word around the playground that it’s time to move on. Olive Garden was giving out Sangria in sippy cups, so it was an obvious mark. And once that story hit the news, the well was dry. I just imagine little Brooklynn and her friends sitting on the magic carpet while their teacher reads One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, completely bolivious to the fact that they’re talking about the next toddler hot spot… which in this case was Chili’s.

I like her coverup too once she got busted. That’s nasty? Yeah, well why did you drink enough to get shit-faced then you little twerp? You know how much mudslide it takes to get drunk, even if you’re four? Actually, that reminds me of a story. I went to visit a buddy of mine in college and we were drinking with some people at his apartment. We were making mudslides because we didn’t want to look like big pussies and order them at the bar, but we would steal a sip here and there when we ordered them for the ladies… Don’t judge. Neither of us had any idea how to mix them, so we just kept pouring, sipping, adjusting and repeat. More vodka, sip, nope, splash more of Kahlua, sip, nope, a bit of Bailey’s, sip, getting closer… that went on for a while until we realized we weren’t even a drink deep (technically I guess) but were as plastered as a little snotface getting hammered at Chili’s happy hour. 

If I’m a manager at TGIFriday’s, I’m on high alert for shifty-eyed tots this week.

LAKELAND, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) – A Central Florida mother says her toddler got a little tipsy after accidentally being served alcohol at a popular chain restaurant. Jill Van Heest took her two and half year old son Nikolai to dinner at the Olive Garden on Highway 98 in Lakeland on March 31st.

The boy ordered orange juice and his mom says he drank most of what was in his child’s plastic cup when a waiter came to the table. “We’re eating our meals when the waiter came over and said there’s been a mistake, I need to get you a new one and took the glass and kind of scurried away,” Van Heest said.

She asked him what was in the cup and was told Tropical Sangria, a mixed drink of orange juice, pineapple juice and white wine. Van Heest spoke to the restaurant manager. “He was very sympathetic, very apologetic, but no real explanation as to how it happened, just that it was a mistake,” she said.

The mother says Niko was acting strangely and misbehaving throughout the dinner. “He was visibly drunk. His eyes were dilated, they were red. He was now getting loud.”

See, now this is why I love Olive Garden. Not only do they serve the best Italian food this side of the Atlantic, but they’re always stepping up to the plate to match their competitors and keep hold of their title as best restaurant in America. Chili’s is doing two-fers and half price apps? Well we’ve got unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks. Applebee’s is giving martini’s to toddlers? Well we’re filling all sippy cups with our famous sangria. I don’t know why this mom’s got her granny panties in a bunch though. I bet a drunk toddler would be a hoot to hang out with. They say the damnedest things when they’re sober, imagine the shit that would come out of their mouths after they’ve knocked back a few cocktails. Of course I’m assuming they’re happy drunks. I don’t think I could deal with a belligerent angry toddler. Or worse yet, the overly emotional 4 year old sobbing in her chocolatetini because little bobby won’t pull her pig-tails on the playground. That’s the pits. Otherwise though, drunk babies pretty much rule.