Posts Tagged ‘pig’

[KFOR]  Authorities in Murray County have charged a 77-year-old man for violating a show pig at an agriculture barn located on the property of Davis Public Schools. Court documents state Jimmy “Hawkeye” Jeter of Davis was caught on surveillance video inside the barn. Records state Jeter “walked into the pen, unzipped his pants, appeared to pull something out of his pants, then bent over the gilt (female pig).” During an interview with investigators, documents state Jeter “said he was not trying to poison the gilt” and stated “I just stuck my finger up her private. That’s all I did.” Authorities say Jeter admitted he “poured corn out to hold the gilt still” and that he “did this in the early 70s.” Court documents state Jeter also admitted that he got sexual gratification from the incident. Jeter was arrested and booked into the Murray County Jail. He was charged with detestable and abominable crime against nature. This isn’t Jeter’s first run-in with the law.  He served time for stealing cattle in 2008 and was arrested in in 2011 for attempting to steal horses which lead to a felony charge of larceny of domestic animals.

“I just stuck my finger up her private.  That’s all I did.”  That’s a mistake you learn not to make in Basic Bullshitting 101 right there, folks.  You’d think Jeter would be a little smarter than this. You can’t just offer up that kinda info right off the bat – now you got nothing to work up to except, “OK, OK, I smashed that virgin swine’s hymen”.  I mean anyone who knows anything knows you don’t tell the fuzz anything close to the truth the first time they ask.   (more…)

What’s Weirder. . .A Pig With 2 Snouts Or 1 Eye?

Posted: December 14 @ 3:00pm by 610 in Bolivian
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[HuffPo]  Although he may not look like it, the animal pictured below is actually a pig. The animal, which was born at a farm owned by Xiao Jintu in China’s Fujian Province, has two snouts and a cyclops eye in the middle of its head, according to Metro. HuffPost UK reports that the strange piglet was the fifth of his litter, and has not yet been named. This little guy isn’t the first two-snouted pig born in China, reports Metro. Bai Xuejin, who raised a two-snouted pig in Jilin province said, “We knew something was different because her head was so large we had to help when her mother gave birth.” Deformed pigs aren’t the only weird animals making the news recently. In July, a fisherman in Mexico caught a pregnant shark with a cyclops fetus inside it that “looks more like a happy cartoon character than a real shark.” In September, a two-headed cat from Massachusetts named “Frankenlouie” celebrated its twelfth birthday. He holds a Guinness World Record for being the longest-lived Janus cat (a name derived from the two-faced Roman god). Some weird animals come in smaller, and cuter, packages. “Teeny” and “Tiny” are the names of a two-headed razorback musk turtle from California that’s about the size of a nickel.

First of all, don’t diarrhea on my head and call it slop.  Those snouts are on this piglet’s buttcheeks.  I know an asshole when I see one, and that ‘eye’ is an asshole.  There’s a glimmery turd right there.  If that’s a cyclops, then ‘cyclops’ means ‘brown eye you shit from’.  Anyway, what’s up with deformed pigs?   (more…)

People always talk about having big balls like the bigger they are, the more of a badass you are. But imagine your balls being so big that your shit just sits on them? Sucks. I really hope nothing blog-worthy happens over the weekend so this picture just sits up here for a few days. Your weekly dose of search results after the jump. (more…)

Holy Shit, Al Gore Was Right! It’s Man-Bear-Pig!!!

Posted: September 2 @ 3:30pm by 610 in Bolivian
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[Metro]  Residents of the Guatemalan village have decided that the pig’s odd human-shaped head is the doing of visitors from outer space, after strange bright lights were spotted hovering in the sky on the night of its birth. The poor pig, which is one of a litter of 11, has been described as looking like a cross between a human and something from the Alien movies. Farmer Laureano Escobar Arias said: ‘I was shocked – it was a really terrifying experience. It looked like some kind of alien creature.’ However, local health officials have suggested that there are more earthly reasons for the pig’s appearance. ‘We don’t know for certain but it could have been caused by a genetic problem or by environmental pollution,’ one commented. A bit closer to home, pathologists are investigating a series of animal mutilations in Wales, with aliens once again the suspected culprits. It is thought that the surgical-style injuries are too sophisticated for other animals to cause and once again bright lights were seen near the scene.

I thought for a minute I was watching an old video from the Kardashian household of infant Khloe until I did a bit of research.  Anyway, these Guatemalans are fucking mean.  You think this pig is happy with it’s cranial situation or the fact that it was seemingly gang-raped by aliens?   (more…)

[iNewsOne]  An elderly man in Russia is facing up to two years in prison for accidently shooting his wife dead while preparing to kill a pig, the investigative committee regional directorate said Thursday. The 60-year-old Russian pensioner is a resident of the Tula region, about 200 km south of Moscow, was loading a homemade firearm to shoot a pig when it accidentally went off, fatally injuring his wife who was standing nearby. She died on the spot. The man has been charged with negligent homicide and ordered not to leave the town pending trial.

‘Negligent’ homicide?  I thought the wife died? Sounds to me like the right pig was clipped, which is pretty much the exact opposite of ‘negligent’.  Dude’s getting off pretty light here, no?  Although I guess it’s easy to make a mistake when you stroll into the shed cocked & loaded, ready to blast a porker in the grill and you’re faced with two of them.   (more…)

Hey Pig, Nice Face. . .s

Posted: May 9 @ 1:30pm by 610 in Bolivian
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[Metro UK]  This little piggy was born with the deformity of having two functioning mouths. Its owner, farmer Bai Xuejin said: ‘We knew something was different because her head was so large we had to help when her mother gave birth. ‘I’ve been raising pigs for 15 years and I’ve never seen anything like this before.’ The squealer could not suckle its mother because of its unique facial figure, so Mr Xuejin had to raise it by hand until it was old enough to eat solid food. ‘Both mouths function normally and so she eats and drinks through both of them which means she gets through a lot more food than her brothers and sisters,’ he added. Mr Xuejin, from Zhangjia in the Jilin province, is planning on saving her from the chop and putting her on show at his farm because people are fascinated by her. He said: ‘She is too special to end up on a plate.’

Just what a chick doesn’t need – two mouths.  Fucking gross.  Can she talk to herself?  Make out with herself?  Why couldn’t she sip from mom’s nips?  Can she fellate 2 male pigs?   (more…)

ABCPeople at the Grassroots Natural Market in Denville, N.J., are shopping for groceries when they hear this:  “I’m going to be honest; I don’t think this is the right fit for you. I just don’t want you to waste your time filling out an application.”  This is what Jeremy, a store manager, tells Melia, a woman who would like to apply for a sales clerk position at the store. The conversation starts out cordially enough but soon it’s obvious that Melia is not going to be considered for the job because she is overweight.  What customers at the store don’t know is that both Jeremy and Melia are actors hired by “What Would You Do?” We wanted to see how people would react when they witnessed a situation in which a job applicant was discriminated against because of her weight.  When Jeremy tells her not to apply, Melia acts incredulous.  “Wait you’re telling me not to fill out this job application because of the way I look?” she asks.  “It’s a health food store. I don’t mean to be rude I’m just being honest,” Jeremy replies.  The first customer to hear the conversation and witness the manager’s attitude, which of course in reality is not tolerated at the Grassroots Market, threatens to tell the store’s owner. And the next woman to hear the discrimination also confronts the rude manager.  The customer, Cathy, then offers some comfort to Melia.  “I’m sorry, but he’s the manager. Do you really want to work with somebody like that?” she asks.  Melia, in tears, confides, “It’s like he’s making an assumption that I’m not intelligent…simply based on my size.”  When “What Would You Do?” host John Quinones introduces himself and explains the scenario, the customer tells Quinones “Well, I have to say, …I’m with the manager on it. I really am. I think that you know, he told the truth instead of lying, and honesty, to me, is always the right way to go, regardless.”  “But he was discriminating against someone based on their weight,” Quinones says.  And the customer replies “No, he’s a, he’s a business owner, and he’s allowed to do… He can hire whoever he wants to hire. That’s the way I look at it.”

Ahhh, the ever-present ‘fatsos are people too’ debate.  Listen, piglet – being a tub of lard is not a disability.  It’s gluttonous.  Selfish.  Disgusting.  You know what else?  It’ll keep you from working at a health food store 137 out of 100 times.  Who wants Stay Puft endorsing products geared toward people who actually give a shit about themselves?  You’re about as good a peddler of health as Charlie Sheen.  It’s like me getting a job in the women’s care aisle of a supermarket.  “Excuse me – what would you advise is safer for my beav?  Summer’s Eve or Massengil?”  “Lady, I have a dick.  What I don’t have is any idea on how to help you cleanse your clam.”  Not gonna work.  Any porker who applies at a place like this knows exactly what they’re doing and are simply trying to publicly remind us all that they’re the victim.  Acting as though they’re making an effort to get a job but the world is against the pleasantly plump.  First the thong modeling agency, then the bicycle courier company, now the health food market. Cut the crap, fatty.  Can Stevie Wonder be a photographer?  Jim Abbott a Macarena instructor?  No. Just like fat people can’t work at a place where people go to shed fat.  That’s not discrimination, that’s common sense chubs.