Posts Tagged ‘robbery’

[happyplace] A 17-year-old would-be robber who struck an adult novelties shop in DeBary on Wednesday was arrested, deputies say, after he filled out a job application with his real name. Deputies say the teen walked into Cupid’s Corner on Charles R. Beall Boulevard about 7:20 p.m., then pulled a handgun and told the 32-year-old clerk: “Give me all your money.” The clerk, however, talked the boy out of the robbery and offered to give him a job if he’d put the gun away, deputies say. The teen pocketed the gun and filled out an application. The teen explained that he was down on his luck and trying to help his grandparents pay their bills. The suspect and clerk hugged, deputies say, and smoked a cigarette together. Deputies say the clerk told the teen she wanted to get a drink from a nearby convenience store. There, she called 911 to report the robbery. The teen left before deputies arrived. The teenager was found walking a few streets south of the sex shop, deputies say, and confessed to the robbery. He claimed the weapon, which hasn’t been located, was a BB gun.

This sums up being a teen just perfectly, doesn’t it? Just all hormones and no brain. Kid could’ve had a perfect plan, rehearsed it dozens of times, went over it in his head the whole way there, walked into the porn shop, then, suddenly… Tits. All bets are off at that point. It doesn’t matter if you’re like Danny Ocean and build a replica of the store to iron out every detail of the heist. Once a 17 year old is face to face with real live snatch, (more…)

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[MacombDaily] LEECHBURG, Pa. (AP) — Police say a western Pennsylvania man who claims to have split personalities confessed to robbing a Chinese restaurant after reading about it in the newspaper and realizing he was the person who did it. Online court records don’t list an attorney for 23-year-old Timothy Beer, of Leechburg, who’s been jailed since surrendering in Sunday’s robbery of the China King Restaurant about 35 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. Beer came to the police station Tuesday, saying he wasn’t feeling well and “did something stupid.”  Beer told police he ordered food and became angry when he perceived the person waiting on him was continuing to speak Chinese. The next thing Beer remembers, he was playing video games at his cousin’s home — but says he later realized he committed the robbery when he read about it in Tuesday’s Valley News Dispatch.

I honestly am not sure whether this guy is a brilliant pioneer and a visionary for us all or if he’s just retarded. I mean c’mon man, Timothy Beer…that’s the name of your drunken alter ego? Real name is probably like Tim Sober, and when he’s three-sheets in the bag everyone calls him Timmy Beer! Who does this cat think he’s fooling!? Yeah, Cracker Whiskey has done some fucked up shit before too. Difference is, I didn’t get so pissed when Hop Sing wouldn’t speakey Engrish that I blacked out and robbed the joint. (more…)

[WISH]  Police arrested a man they say robbed a bank with a glue gun on Monday. Around 1:40 p.m. Monday, an armed robbery was reported at PNC Bank, 3003 Kentucky Ave. Bank employees said the man displayed what they thought was a gun and told them he had a bomb, while showing them something taped to his leg. The man got away, but officers from Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department and the FBI Safe Streets Task Force identified him through surveillance video. Officers tracked down their suspect, Aaron Randolph, in the 3300 block of South Lockburn Street. They found all the money, along with the suspected “firearm” that was used — a glue gun. They also determined Randolph wasn’t armed with a bomb, as bank workers said he threatened.

Oh he wasn’t armed with a bomb?  No fucking kidding.  I wish I wasn’t so skillfully creative and, instead of blogging from my mom’s basement, I had to get a remedial job as a bank teller.  I’d be like the Cal Ripkin of consecutive Employee Of The Month plaques at PNC just thwarting heists left & right.  Take my man Aaron here, for example.   (more…)

[Sun Sentinel]  The Broward Sheriff’s Office is hoping newly released surveillance video will lead authorities to the man who robbed a Lauderdale Lakes gas station. About noon on Friday, a gun-brandishing robber stormed into the Chevron gas station at 2400 N. SR 7, according to the Sheriff’s Office. After a store employee saw the man pull a black mask over his head, the clerk ran into a secured, glass-enclosed area behind the register. When the employee tired to shut the door behind him, the robber shoved his hand in the crack of the door, smashing his hand, the Sheriff’s Office said. The robber continued to push his way inside the area and stuffed his pockets with an undisclosed amount of money. As the robber ran out of the store, the employee activated the store’s remote lock. The robber can be seen on surveillance video kicking the door open and running outside. The robber is seen on video wearing blue jeans and a long-sleeve, gold dress shirt. He was described as being about 5-feet, 11-inches tall and 220 pounds.

Click the link above for the video

What an idiot this guy is.  You just got robbed, why are you trying to be a hero?  You trust that bulletproof glass & door locks you’re hiding behind, Mr. Gas Station Clerk?  Clearly your whole security setup isn’t nearly as reliable as you thought considering 3 boots got the burglar out the front door.  (more…)

[Citizens Voice]  A Butler Township man claiming to a have a bomb demanded money from a bank teller in Sugarloaf Township on Monday, only to return it minutes later after a scolding from his girlfriend, police said. Otto C. McNab Jr., 36, of 73 E. Foothills Drive, Drums, was arraigned by Magisterial District Judge Ronald Swank in Mountain Top on Monday evening, hours after demanding money from a bank teller at Susquehanna Bank and telling the employee he had a bomb and was willing to detonate it. “Times are tough,” McNab told reporters as he was escorted by police into Swank’s office Monday night. “You gotta do what you have to do to support your family.” McNab entered the bank around 12:15 p.m. Monday and told the teller, “I have a bomb. Give me the money or I’m going to set it off.” He left the bank with $2,262 and returned to his vehicle, where his girlfriend sat waiting. Unaware McNab had planned to rob the bank, his girlfriend yelled at him. He returned the money and left the parking lot. Using a description of the vehicle, police located McNab in the area of state Route 309 in Butler Township. Police took McNab into custody after stopping him as he pulled into his driveway. McNab is charged with robbery, theft by unlawful taking, receiving stolen property and terroristic threats. McNab’s girlfriend will not face charges, police said.

No-brainer here, Otto.  You did the right thing.  Times are tough fo’ sho’, but just because you sacrificed your freedom & potentially your life to make ends meet for your loved ones doesn’t mean the end result of a couple G’s is worth a woman’s scorn.  Wait a minute…that’s probably what you got the scolding for. If so, then it’s well deserved.  Who the fuck robs a bank for $2k?   (more…)

[Enterprise News]  The bass player for a rock band was arrested for allegedly robbing an Attleboro pharmacy of prescription painkillers just hours before a show. Attleboro police say Michael Todd was apprehended after allegedly making off with six bottles of Oxycontin from a Walgreen’s store just after 1 p.m. Sunday. Todd is the bassist for Coheed and Cambria, which opened for Soundgarden at the Comcast Center in Mansfield on Sunday night. Police allege the 30-year-old Todd of Anaheim, Calif., showed the pharmacist a note on his phone that said he had a bomb, then took a cab from the scene. He is scheduled to be arraigned Monday in Attleboro District Court. The band said on its website that it would continue to tour despite the charges against Todd.

When you think people cant get any fucking stupider, then comes along a dickhead like this.  I mean the guy must have some brass balls to try this right before he had his concert, but I cant blame him for trying to get fucked up before a gig.  I hate work as much as the next red blooded American who rather just get a welfare check each month and food stamps and shit.    (more…)

[Columbus Dispatch]  A security camera at an East Side bank yesterday got clear photos of a robber who revealed his face when he was told to obey the bank’s “no hats, no hoods” policy, the FBI said. The incident began at about 4 p.m. when a man in a dark, hooded jacket entered the PNC Bank at 2385 S. Hamilton Rd., said FBI Special Agent Harry W. Trombitas. As the man waited in line with his hood up, concealing most of his face, a bank employee told him to take it down. The man did, Trombitas said. Eventually, he said, the man handed a teller a note saying he had a gun, was robbing the bank and would shoot her if she didn’t give him money. She did, and the robber fled. The suspect is described as a white male apparently in his mid-20s, 5 feet 5 inches tall, of medium build, clean-shaven, with short brown hair, a dark shirt, a dark coat, dark pants and dark shoes.  “Law enforcement credits PNC Bank employees with enforcing the ‘no hats, no hoods’ policy, which caused the man to take down his hood, revealing his face to surveillance cameras,” Trombitas said.

Laugh at this guy all you want.  “What an idiot, why would you take your hood off if you’re gonna rob the joint!?”  Why?   (more…)