Posts Tagged ‘TSA’

[Fox] NEW YORK – Dawdling JFK Airport security waited 40 minutes before calling cops after a man told a ticket agent that he was Usama bin Laden and was carrying a bomb, furious law enforcement officials said Tuesday.

Christian Boncorps, 61, told an Air France ticket agent, “My name is bin Laden, and I have a bomb in my bag.”

But by the time cops were called, luggage belonging to the boozed-up suspect was already aboard a Paris-bound jet that he planned to get on, sources said.

An Air France reservation clerk asked him what he had in his bag, thinking he might be trying to smuggle more booze aboard, one source said, prompting the irked Boncorps to make his comment about the now-dead terror chief.

But instead of calling Port Authority cops immediately, the clerk escorted him to a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) screening site, where workers simply put him through standard pre-flight screening procedures.

How pissed do you think Christian here is? He’s probably just one of those guys, looking for his 15 minutes of fame and came up with a rock solid plan after one of his homeless drinking buddies told him he looked like bin Laden.   (more…)

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When I saw this, the first thing I pictured was Pope Benedict doing the Dougie all over Vatican City. Straight up killing it all over the Sistine Chapel two middle fingers in the air to Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam”, blasting Cee-Loo’s FUCK YOU, and grinding it with the whores from Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga parties. The Catholic Church is raging right now because there is another organization that will attract pedophiles by the thousands and it’s the not the Catholic Church! It’s the motherfucking U.S. Government and the TSA! STARS AND STRIPES BABY!, LAND OF FREEDOM TO TOUCH LITTLE KIDS! I can only imagine how many priests saw this, blew a load in there pants, got the fuck up, threw down the collar, and walked right out the fucking door. Why the fuck not? They can literally molest children in public and receive a paycheck with health insurance included! Seems like a pretty cooshy government job for priests and sex predators! I mean shit there’s a pension in it so when you get old you can receive government mailbox money to fund your sex predator adventures. Priests no longer have to hide, no more not being able to get married prohibiting them from fondling their step-children, they can simply just crush the scene in the airport by placing there hands all over children’s genitials. Shit they don’t even have to pigeon hole themselves by fondling little boys! This is equal opportunity employer, girls and boys your choice as long as they’re not consenting and under the age of 10 then go the fuck at it! There’s a mass exodus going on and it’s not Red Sox fans jumping off bridges, no sir, it’s the all the priests walking straight the fuck out of the Archdiocese of every major city all over the fucking world. I can’t shake the image of that scene from V from Vendetta where all those people in black go to city square. Well I’m sure if we got a helicopter’s view point of the TSA recruitment offices right now it would be literally exact same thing instead of fags in some form of mask and cape it’s priests in there black robes with hard ons. Can’t you see it now? Some creepy looking ex-priest with a bottle of lube going, “listen ma’am I’m going to have to do a cavity search on your 9yr old, he just has the most delicious body!” I guess this means I’m going to have to put away that great Halloween costume of a priest banging a baby, because shit there’s not going to be any left after this video goes viral. The Catholic Church is back baby, praise JESUS!

P.S. – Where the fuck is the father here? If this was my child you would have to fucking kill me because if I saw any motherfucker touching my kid like that they would be dead. It’s that simple, I would kill them. Look them straight in the eye, “If you plan on patting down my child you better have your guns drawn because I’m going to beat you to death.” I mean what self-respecting man would ever let this happen to his little girl? I mean have you ever heard of the phrase “Daddy’s little Girl”, well this TSA agent was just fondling your little girl bro, step the fuck up. If this was my kid, this wouldn’t be the viral video it would actually be is a video of me getting tased or shot by 1000 TSA agents at LaGuardia as I beat in the bitches skull with the golf clubs I’m trying to take on vacation.